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Arse licking friend is making me vomit ...

(32 Posts)
Boomshackalacka Fri 16-Sep-16 16:36:14

I'm a grown woman I shouldn't get annoyed but here I am.
I need to vent and be a immature teenager just for 5 minutes.
Ok..I've been friends with (let's call her Susan) for 12 years..about 4 years ago she made some new friends through work.
She is so far up their arses it's a wonder her nose isn't brown.
We organised a trip and planned to drive (me and her friends ) they told us last minute they weren't driving and me and Susan would have to make other arrangements as they had already booked their train ticket.
I was annoyed and if I had done that Susan would of been livid but because it was them her response was "oh that's fine hunni don't worry hunni,not a problem hunni"

We met on the day and Susan says to them "oh girls you look fabulous,where is your dress from?its amazing"
Now I know her well enough to know she wouldn't wear that dress out even on Halloween never mind normal day to day.
Everthing and I mean "everthing" they post on Facebook she likes ..yet she never likes anything of mine.
They post pictures of themselves and she's all over it.
She wouldn't speak to them the same as she speaks to me.
Yesterday I had a problem and I text her and her response was "so what" "sorry I'm too busy" if it's not that it's " anyway got to wash the dishes"
Unless it's about her she doesn't care of them.

Now today I went to a show at the empire with another friend and her two friends were there and she wrote on Facebook have fun girls yet nothing to me.
I know I sound stupid but that just shows what she is like to me.
I'm getting so close to saying stuff you,I'm done.
She constantly try's to be little me and she's short with me but them she wouldn't dare..she shits herself if she thinks she's upset them.
Why treat me like shit and the queen bees...well like queens.

Why treat me like shit and the queen bees...well like queens.

Because she likes them more than you. I'm sorry that sounds so harsh, but it's obvious from her behaviour.

Giratina Fri 16-Sep-16 16:40:38

Yesterday I had a problem and I text her and her response was "so what

Susan sounds like an arsehole. Why are you still bothering with her, I'd be cutting contact. Sounds like her work friends are closer to each other than her so she will probably regret sacking you off for them.

Redglitter Fri 16-Sep-16 16:41:52

Why are you friends with her? I'd just cut the friendship you're clearly getting nothing from it

Millipedewithherfeetup Fri 16-Sep-16 16:42:28

I would just back off a bit for now, see if she misses you and keeps in contact, if not then just leave it. Sometimes its for the best.

Boomshackalacka Fri 16-Sep-16 16:42:57

They are they've been friends since they were 6 so that's like 24 years.
The thing is if she has a problem she's straight on the phone to me,and expects me to be them for her.
Il say to her what do your other friends think?
And she will say oh I don't talk to them about these kind of things
hmm

Boomshackalacka Fri 16-Sep-16 16:45:50

She's always texting me but if I was to text her about something important to me ..well that's when she becomes "busy"
When it's just us we have a good time ..when she isn't trying to look good in front of them.
I don't want to burn my bridges with her.
I told how I felt before and she switched it around saying I was a drama queen and I ended up saying sorry,

adora1 Fri 16-Sep-16 16:50:48

She clearly likes them more OP, no offence, what I would do is get myself new friends or invest more in my current ones and be exactly the same back to her, in other words, show her that you don't need her and have other friends you can enjoy the company of.

I know it sounds petty but her behaviour is almost like she is trying to get a rise out you, don't give her one.

flapjackfairy Fri 16-Sep-16 16:50:55

You have just answered your own question. She is comfortable with you and doesnt have to impress you. She is insecure with other friends and scared to offend them. I know this is irritating to you because she is taking you for granted but really it is a huge compliment that she sees you as her best friend. Might be worth trying to tell her how her behaviour makes you feel and i am not saying she is not in the wrong but i suggest that if you drop her she would be devastated. .

DixieWishbone Fri 16-Sep-16 16:51:05

The problem seems to be not so much that she treats them well, but she treats you badly.

She works with them. To a certain extent she has to be careful around them as that could effect her job, especially if they share a work area and she has to be in their presence 8 hours a day. She probably does want to keep them out of her very personal stuff as she doesn't want that in work.

It sounds like she has got a bit too comfortable with you. I don't know how you can move back from that. Either you give as good as you get, which turns you into bickering siblings - and where's the fun in that - you call her out on when she pulls you up on things she lets them get away with, or you make yourself a bit less available to her and concentrate on spending time with people who bring out the best in you and make you feel valued and respected as a friend.

228agreenend Fri 16-Sep-16 17:08:45

You sound jealous of how your friend is with her new friends.

Maybe she likes them and looks up to them. Giving compliments to people isn't a weird way to behave. It's nicer to hear than crude language, anyway.

SaggyNaggy Fri 16-Sep-16 17:13:29

Stop wasting your energy on these people, block them, drop them, tell them too fuck off up their own arseholes until they dissapear into nothingness or end up resembling squash balls.

TwatbadgingCuntfuckery Fri 16-Sep-16 17:14:40

Ah sounds like you are the 'when the shit hits the fan' friend, To put it bluntly.

Tbh this says a lot more about her and the friends she likes - that she cannot trust or ask them for support - than it does about you.

She trusts you of course. Take that from the whole thing.

You are trustworthy and a decent friend but give that gift to someone who appreciates it and treats you properly. She really isn't much of a friend.

PovertyPain Fri 16-Sep-16 17:14:57

She sounds like a schoolgirl trying to get in with the 'cool girls'. I'd let her get on with it and if she phones with a problem tell her you don't have time to talk, but "I'm sure your friends will be happy to help. Bye." They probably find her incredibly irritating, IMO. I'd hate someone crawling round me like that. She treats you like shit because she assumes you'll always be around. It's about time she realised you don't shit on your own doorstep. It's only a matter of time before she realises they will never be real friends with her and she'll be crawling back to you.

PotatoBread Fri 16-Sep-16 17:15:09

Regardless of how she treats them it doesn't sound like she treats you very well. Her text messages are just rude. I'd distance myself from Susan a bit if I were you - at least until she starts treating you with some manners anyway

ThoraGruntwhistle Fri 16-Sep-16 17:15:28

Stop chasing after her. Wait till she contacts you with a problem and then reply with 'so what'.

WomensNet Fri 16-Sep-16 17:15:38

I don't understand how grown women get themselves into situations like this, relatives I can understand but friends? I'd have dropped the lot of them like a sack of rotting potatoes.

AmeliaJack Fri 16-Sep-16 17:19:30

She treats you this way because you let her.

Stop letting her. If she's rude to you call her on it.

Perhaps also be just a little bit less available.

Start widening your friendship group too.

Ninasimoneinthemorning Fri 16-Sep-16 17:20:08

Susan is a dick. She is also a user.

You don t need friends like Susan.

MatildaTheCat Fri 16-Sep-16 17:22:10

She's wanted to be a part of their gang since she was 6. Can't see that changing TBH. They clearly don't want her or otherwise she would be included in their plans. She's not valuing you because you are always there.

In a nutshell, she doesn't care too much about you, sorry to say. They don't care too much about her.

And, sorry but you all sound more like 13 than 30. Is this some FB induced hysteria? Step away and focus on other people, other places, other things.

whiteappleton Fri 16-Sep-16 17:23:13

I've known people like her before. She sounds like she wants you to be there for her but simultaneously wants you to know that she doesn't think that much of you, like you aren't the friend she really wants just a recipient for her problems and text messages, and a safe bet in general. If you do distance yourself or stop being friends be ready for her to bitch about how you treated her and that she doesn't know what she did wrong and all the rest.

Boomshackalacka Fri 16-Sep-16 17:23:51

I'm certainly not jealous ..I'm annoyed that she treats me like crap.
She's fake with them ..I couldn't be bothered with fakeness.

J0kersSmile Fri 16-Sep-16 17:26:15

Honestly I'd treat her exactly how she treats you. Next time she texts say anyway dishes to wash, text her back so what ect ect.

Paulat2112 Fri 16-Sep-16 17:26:22

She isn't your friend. Susan doesn't like you. That's not nice to hear, but it's very obvious.

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