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Talk some sense into me

(14 Posts)
PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 19:33:51

Ok, have name changed, maybe in the hope it sorts me out!

I'm have an emotional wobble about my ex. We spilt up in May, things sort of just went wrong. Not majorly, nothing I'm aware causing it.
I was changing jobs, he went quiet, life was busy etc etc and eventually we sort of just said its done.

We didn't live together, we'd been seeing each other for around two years.

I was very much, at the time, meh, things happen, on we go. Never mind. We were no contact for a while. Life carried on.

Now, I miss him. Awfully. We've briefly had a few conversations, nothing leading, no hint of it being more than two people who know each other. So can't say it's because of that.
But I genuinely, miss him. And I don't understand why.

I'm very much a you should tell someone how you feel. Life's too short for regrets type person. However, I don't think things would change if I did tell him. And I don't know if that would hurt more then it does now.

I've thought about maybe trying OLD but right now there's no point because for some reason I feel like I want him.

Talk some sense into me. Please. Nicely though. Tears feel ready to spring on this, and I truly don't get it.

QuiteLikely5 Tue 13-Sep-16 19:35:52

You said 'he went quiet' what does that mean?

QuiteLikely5 Tue 13-Sep-16 19:36:36

As in I'm trying to understand why things ended?

LoveRosie2008 Tue 13-Sep-16 19:39:26

Just keep on talking in a friendly way, see what happens?

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 19:40:06

He stopped texting - compared to how he usually did. If I asked if things were ok he said they were fine he was just busy and not to worry.

It just got less and less, and I realised this was a kinda shot thing to do to someone else. And I should remember that now.

I think I felt a little unsupported as big changes were happening and he suddenly seemed to pull away rather than be there.

All things I know don't make a relationship. I'm sure it all happened for a reason. And I should just forget it all and give myself a slap...

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 19:41:52

*shit not shot. Sorry!

Things really seemed to fizzle out. I don't truly understand where things went wrong. There wasn't a big thing/reason.

LoveRosie2008 Tue 13-Sep-16 19:42:00

When they go quiet they normally have someone else? Sorry but that sounds like it.

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 19:44:48

Rosie I agree. And I went through that and figured it was probably something like that, and that it was easier for him to not say and just back away.

For some reason now tho I'm questioning it. And do miss him.

I don't want to be the one who is dropped and picked up again because it's easy tho. I know I deserve better than this.

If I was a friend in this, I'd tell me to snap out of it and that there wasn't anything to miss.

Memoires Tue 13-Sep-16 20:51:23

Yes, you've put your finger right on it! Snap out of it! There are much better things in life than some bloke who can't even be honest with you. What you're missing is the relationship your imagination has created, but it doesn't exist and never will with him.

That feeling will dissipate quite soon if you don't indulge it.

You deserve much better, and you will find it one day, but not if you go back to the imaginary man.

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 21:05:20

Thank you memories. I am quite sure you are right.

It's partly why I posted here. A) people tell it how it is b) seeing me write it down, sort of answered my own questions. C) I don't do something stupid like try and tell him.

It's a wobbly time. I need to let that happen but not act on it. I also need not to dwell on it.

I know all of this, deep down I do. And I just need to listen to that.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Tue 13-Sep-16 21:19:58

OP, you are doing really well on your own, you ended the relationship for a reason, try and focus on that. If you did get back with him, after the initial bonk fest, you'll wish you never did.
You will not be alone forever, take heart. 💐

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 21:25:23

Thank you sugar. Wise words again.

Oddly, I am quite enjoying being 'alone' - just focusing on me and dd (not his) and it feels nice just us.

Really is a wobbly day/week/whatever. Self slapping will be in place again soon

Memoires Tue 13-Sep-16 21:44:24

cake when in doubt, eat cake! You've clearly got a good head on those shoulders. I imagine you bonding so strongly with dd at this time, I'm a bit jealous! You'll look back on it with thankfulness that you had that time.

PopGoesBang Tue 13-Sep-16 21:53:41

Haha memories! I like the cake idea!
Not so sure about the head, lets me down sometimes! But, no regrets!

It's precious moments. And for that I am always grateful.

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