Good books on how to be diplomatic

[AGenie]

Hi

I wondered if anyone could recommend any good books on how to say things diplomatically?

I used to be a real doormat and in recent years I've started to try to speak up for myself a bit, but I find that in the anxious rush to say what I mean, I do tend to come over as being quite undiplomatic.

I wondered if anyone might know of a book that explains techniques for putting things in less blunt and more gentle language, but still getting the message across?

Thanks!

[Believeitornot]

We were taught a method at work but be damned if I can remember it

Basically you be specific and talk about your feelings and own them. Don't say "you made me", but more like "I felt like X when you said y".

[AGenie]

Thanks! I also googled for advice and all the pages said that I should listen to how politicians talk, and phrase things. I'm not sure that I would like to talk like a politician though. They never seem to say what they mean at all.

[AndTheBandPlayedOn]

Maybe try the book "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"
It is focused on communicating with children but I found it could apply to anyone. It is based on respect for the other person.

[AGenie]

That's a good idea. I have that book already, but had only thought about it with children.

I also remembered that the book "how to win friends and influence people" is often recommended.

[AGenie]

I just found a summary of that book here:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People#Fundamental_Techniques_in_Handling_People

[stoptouchingthat]

"When I say no, I feel guilty" has some good techniques for dealing with people.

It's a bit 70s USA in style but I found it helpful. :)

[stoptouchingthat]

I've forgotten the authors name but I for it on amazon a few years ago.

Good one for learning to be assertive.

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

You don't want to sound like a politician. Is there anyone you would like to sound like? Could you channel your inner "What would Judi Dench do?"

[AGenie]

runrabbit that's an excellent idea. I've always like Joyce Grenfell. I must watch more of her interviews and see if I can pick up some tips. She was quite forthright, but tended not to put her foot in it somehow.

[AGenie]

Thanks stop, I've ordered a copy of "When I say no, I feel guilty".