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Struggling with NC

(2 Posts)
newstrongself Tue 13-Sep-16 08:51:56

Just an offload really and a hand hold if there's one going!! smile

I've had an on/off relationship for 3 years which 'ended' about a week ago. I have suspicions ex is narcissistic and after reading things on here also quite badly EA. I caught him cheating once last year (flirty messages on his phone) and dumped him, and was in shock that he didn't come crawling back. I was in a bad place emotionally and ended up chasing him (like a fool, I know) and we got back together. He never said sorry, kept the girl on fb and said she was 'just a mate'. Don't flame me!!

Anyway, fast forward to now and I'm getting ready for a friend's funeral. Ex and I are chatting on fb and I noticed his 'recently added' friends. And he's added this same girl again, she's made a different profile. They have no other mutual friends even though he always said she used to hang out with some of his other mates. I hit the roof, told him to delete her and he agreed. Two days later nothing had happened. The more I pushed, the more he pushed back, 'yeah I'll delete her if you stop nagging' kinda thing. So I finished it.

The thing is, he knows it's wrong. Three of his exes did exactly this to him!! Caught chatting to other men, insist they're just friends, and without even listening to any explanations he dumped them on the spot.

I'm in a stronger place now. He tried all the tricks before I ended it, threatening to leave himself because 'I can't control my emotions' apparently etc.

I've been struggling with giving myself a good telling off for letting him walk over me for so long. Mumsnet users are so inspiring, there's no way most of you would have put up with the shit I did. When I'm working a 15 hour day, having to give hourly selfies with a piece of paper with the time and date to prove where I am, him excluding me from any social event and not inviting me because he says I'm 'socially awkward' and 'cringe', dumping and blocking me on everything if I don't behave exactly by his rules. His social life comes first but I'm not allowed one... etc etc. Boring myself now!

Anyway, it's pathetic but I've gone a week NC. That's actually a record. I have actually had enough of him. But yesterday he emailed me. 'Just wanted to check you're ok'. I haven't responded, and think it's best to ignore. He's still got the girl on fb, and of course my mind keeps wandering with all the sarcastic/bitchy/everything is great without you type things I could respond with.

Not that he'd listen anyway. Bloody narc can do no wrong! His actions are ALWAYS justified and even him adding that cow and then not deleting her was somehow my fault.

But a wise person once said, you can say more with silence than you ever can with words. Right??

pallasathena Tue 13-Sep-16 08:57:06

Right!

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