7 year relationship with 2 kids unhappy

[scooby94]

Well, my oh and I have been together since we were in our teens. I don't really know where to start... It never has been a great relationship. We have 2 beautiful children and I have no regrets there at all. He is very controlling has to come with me anywhere I go, share a phone, constantly around me 24/7, doesn't want to work has psychosis and has treated me like dirt since he got unwell, doesn't help around the house much, could go on forever but I won't. Thing is Im too scared to leave, it wont end there. I just don't have the strength to do it I have been suffering depression and severe anxiety since my daughter was born last august mostly due to the way he has treated me mostly words but they still hurt and he has just completely ruined me. I used to be so confident now its just on the floor I don't see any friends anymore and just feel so alone and scared. The only thing keeping me going is my 2 beautiful babies. I feel so alone and as if this is it the way its always going to be because I have no strength to leave and know it will never end even if I did leave. Please no nasty comments, I appreciate any help and advice, thanks :)

[kerryob]

You need to get out, you know this is a toxic environment for you & your babies x it's an abusive relationship seek professional help www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

[scooby94]

Thank you I appreciate it x

[PurpleWithRed]

Many of us here have been where you are and know how trapped and desperate you feel, but with patience and support we have escaped and found freedom and happiness. It may take time but you can do it and it will be worth it. You need to do it for your beautiful babies.

[jeaux90]

Leave or kick him out. I know it feels hard but you know it's the only way forward. For you and your kids. Please start making a plan. Go to your GP for your own depression and anxiety. Get back in contact with your friends or any family you have that you can trust and see if they can help. Call the helplines and if he becomes abusive you call the police. Big hug, you are not alone. Do something small every day that moves you closer to your goal if its all you can manage.

[scooby94]

Thank you so much for your support and kind words its just so hard, to me it seems as if he's obsessed I know Im certainly not the only person in this situation it does feel like it at times. And don't get me wrong he loves our kids but what he has put me through since his illness I should have walked away to begin with, punching me in the leg and pushing me about when I was pregnant shouting and screaming at me every night saying my little girl wasn't his and I was cheating the names were awful. I know I sound as if I feel so sorry for myself but I really hate myself for not leaving. I have help for my anxiety but I know its not going to get better until I leave and I just need a little help and a push in the right direction. The hitting and pushing doesn't happen anymore but he has reduced me to nothing I have no cinfidence at all at just 22. Heres the best part, I feel guilty for everything I feel as if its me being selfish and I know deep down I shpuldnt. He is completely against me going to work and I know I can be a better person without him. I really do appreciate everyone's help and I know I need to do something. Just having someone to pour my heart out to has helped, thank you xx