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poisonous

(11 Posts)
soitis Sun 11-Sep-16 11:26:15

I have a colleague who has been gossiping about me for two years. I've tried talking to her about it, ignoring her, laughing about it but the reality is - it is grinding me down. Any experience out there??

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 11-Sep-16 11:27:34

Speak to HR? No direct experience but I can absolutely understand this would wear you down.

soitis Sun 11-Sep-16 11:54:55

I wondered about HR but will they view it as a personal dispute rather than a HR issue?

soitis Sun 11-Sep-16 12:01:18

Me and the colleague used to be friends-so HR might see it as a personal issue. Altho I'm thinking I could have an informal chat with them.

Thanks mykingdom

Cherrysoup Sun 11-Sep-16 12:01:55

Can you bring up evidence? As you say, you don't want it to sound like a personal moan. Regardless, I would go to HR and ask to discuss her being spoken to about her lack of professionalism and how inappropriate it is and how it affects your job/feelings.

Angeladelight Sun 11-Sep-16 12:02:53

If it is affecting the job and working environment then HR would get involved but most likely have a chat to each of you about expectations in the workplace.

QuiteLikely5 Sun 11-Sep-16 12:04:25

Can you prove it? How do you know she is doing this?

How about looking for another job - life is too short to put up with this for two years!!!!

ChicRock Sun 11-Sep-16 12:05:00

Gossiping about what exactly? And how do you know this - because other people are gossiping to you that she's been gossiping about you?

I'd conpletely ignore it and in future if anyone tries to tell you that she's been gossiping about you, tell them "I'm not interested, I don't want to hear it" and change the subject or end the conversation.

SandyY2K Sun 11-Sep-16 12:08:42

Speaking as a HR professional, I'd ask if the gossip is work related in any way. If it's nothing to do with work, then it's a personal issue.

You could take out a grievance depending on your policy on the matter. Usually it's along the lines of 'malicious and slanderous or vexatious allegations.'

I would consider:

● what she's saying
● who she's saying it to
● whether you can prove what she's saying
● Any witnesses willing to come forward
● The impact of what she's saying on you
and on your work.

Feel free to PM me for advice if you don't want to post the details on the thread.

soitis Sun 11-Sep-16 15:20:49

A few people have told me what she had been saying - but not sure they would want to be pulled into anything that involves HR re evidence.

Thanks for the advice.

Have been looking for other work and have just applied. Hate to think she is impacting in me so much tho-I thought I was tougher confused

soitis Sun 11-Sep-16 15:44:30

I know chicrock-I do try but then it plays on my mind

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