God do I wish I didn't have to voice this question
Sorry to be brief but I'm struggling, and desperate for some help, please be kind. Please.
As per the title really. In general it's more varied an answer but what I will say next may change things.
Firstly, I have a 'young' pre teen and a mature mid teen. I was abused by my father as a child. Raped as a late teen and was raped again last year (more than once ) I have had so much trauma I find it hard to believe I'm here. Anyway. My husband is incredibly emotionally abusive* and has gaslighted me for years. As part of the abuse he is using these (and other ) facts against me (unless I do X he will do Y) and wants me to move out cos "I'm a slapper" and wants the kids to stay with him, which I know they will not want because he is always angry around them.
Please don't cloud this with I should contact women's aid, get counselling etc cos these things have or are happening (with minimal success cos I'm so fucked up cos all the horrendous things that have happened to me)
I just need opinions on if I should tell my kids???? I want to protect them forever, but in my own journey I'm getting to a place I already wanted to tell people, but my kids would need to know first. I want to just give some facts and explanation for why I've been so behaviourally different etc. No TMI (too much information) just age appropriate info. But also I have the c*nt element of feeling forced to tell them so he can stop torturing me with it. Feel upset he's derailed my secret plans, yet again.
Just help me, please?
*I did an online test today and asked a friend in a non abusive relationship to do it so I could compare. There were 40 questions, I expected a couple yes cos I thought 'life' if you know what I mean. She got zero and I was upset that it's so normalised to me I expected some things listed to be normal. My score? 31
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Trigger warning - Should I tell my kids about my childhood sexual abuse and/or rape(s)?
26 replies
Endlesssadness · 08/09/2016 23:42
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