Hi
Can anyone tell me how I handle a handyman that is getting too close for comfort?
I live on my own and am getting my house ready to rent out and I have paying a younger guy to do odd jobs around my house. He was helping my son with his house and came highly recommended.
I didn't really know much about this guy but trusted him because he had been working for my son. It was only me asking did i find out that he is married with two very young and adorable children. Outwardly, he seemed a very happily married man. He talked about his wife in a warm manner and all seemed well.
I have always kept everything on a business basis and I don't think that I have treated this man any different to the many people that have been doing work on my house. I have had experience of guys crossing the line and I have always set boundaries.
This man has been doing work for me for about the past month and gradually, over time he became too familiar. He would text me telling me when he was arriving and the texts became more sexual. Still, I didn't smell a rat because he was married and I sort of trusted him. I treated him as a friend and he even invited me to spend lunch with his wife and children. Sometimes, he would come by with his kids to drop stuff for my house and, as far as I was concerned he was just a new friend.
Things came to a head a couple of evenings ago when we entered into a conversation via text about me being on my own and relationships and sort of idle chit chat. I just asked him if he had problems at home and he admitted to finding me very attractive, that I should let my hair down...
I immediately put him straight in no uncertain terms about how things stood and I was very angry and upset with him. He apologised immediately.
I now feel really uncomfortable about the whole situation and not quite sure how to handle it. He is still expecting to come and do some maintenance work for me and I am not sure it is a good idea for him to continue to work for me.
I feel incredibly sorry for his wife because I was lead to believe that she was totally happy for her husband to spend most Saturdays and Sundays with me doing gardening and maintenance. He often used to text me in the evenings but he told me his wife knew all about it and was comfortable with it.
I just feel I have been stupid to believe this guy was decent and now I don't want him doing any more work for me. I don't want any bad feelings and I have paid him in advance for some work he is yet to do for me.
I really did believe he was a friend. He told me that my son had told him to look out for me before he moved abroad and so I trusted him.
I am 60 and this guy is 42.
Trouble is everything is very awkward. I've allowed this guy into my home, allowed to him to get too friendly because of my son and I just don't know how to get out of it.
Any advice please?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
lurky and weird handyman
MrsChristmas123 · 08/09/2016 21:01
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.