Hi,
I am prepared to be judged for this as I know how awful I've been, but I need to let it out.
I've ended an emotional affair & I'm trying not to contact him, I miss the communication but know it's a terrible thing and I can't do it anymore.
I understand why it started: 2 young children one who has many hospital trips, no communication with DH, feeling alone, hideous and unappreciated, my best friend dying, my other friends not bothering. none of this excuses what I did.
the OM (an old friend) contacted me over and over again and to begin with I told my DH as I found the messages too much, but after a while it was just nice for one person to ask me how I was... I ended up sharing with so many things and told DH the messages had stopped.
it came to a head when we met just over 2 weeks ago, we talked for hours and then he kissed me, I didn't want this, I don't want to break my family up. I want to fix everything with my DH.
Everyone in this deserves better than me, I don't even know what I am doing writing this, just that it's stopping me from contacting OM. I need to fill my time and avoid vulnerable times by focusing on my family... I just need the gap to disappear.
I have no idea how I ended up like this. I take full responsibility for my actions... but I don't understand anything any more
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I've done something terrible, what next?
20yrsago · 08/09/2016 09:38
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