Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Crush or paranoid?

(1 Post)
user1473256307 Wed 07-Sep-16 16:09:15

Hi everyone,

I'd appreciate an outsiders view on my current situation as I'm doing my own head in trying to work out whether I do have reasons to be concerned or whether I'm just paranoid. Have been with DP 13yr, 4DC. Life generally good.
However for the last 6 month I've started to feel like DP has formed a crush of some sort on my older Dsis.
He seems to find any excuse to txt her to chat, even basic stuff anything just to start a conversation to get her to reply. Now I have a few DBIL's myself, & for all I see them regularly and get on with them we hardly ever txt apart from the odd occasionally happy bday etc. DSis has DH&DC too.

Dsis & Dp have always got on, I noticed the whole texting beginning a few month ago he always seemed to be protective of his phone, lots of txt alerts, him replying, asked him who was keep texting and he said Dsis. He would work night shift, and after telling me & youngest DC he was going to bed to sleep he would then sit up for longer texting her. It ended up coming to a head and an argument happened not proud to admit it but I snooped through his phone. The txts were constant. After this I told him I didn't feel comfortable with it ( He said he found her attractive during a drunken chat not long after we got together) asked him to stop, he agreed. Yet it happened again, again told him that I felt he was over stepping the mark as such, and that it looked from my PoV that he was starting to get abit too friendly. Her replies were always just basic replies and abit of a laugh back. I completely trust DSis and would hope that her replying was more to not look like she was ignoring him than anything else.

I Have been cheated on in previous relationships so I am more paranoid than normal but DP has also had form for messages/creeping on OW's Fb profiles a few years back. He says I'm over reacting and there's nothing to it but my gut doesn't seem to agree. Does it seem innocent or am I right to have this concern? When is it over stepping the mark or when is it just friendly family banter? Any opinions welcomed as I don't have anyone in RL who I could speak to about this.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now