DH and I both feel we make eachother unhappy. i.e. I tell him he often makes me feel sad, and he tells me that I make him feel sad too. We've been together for 7 years and married for 4. I don't think we've ever been one of those super happy loved-up couples although we have had some good times I suppose.
Our son is 2.5 and he often senses I'm sad. He comes and says "don't be sad mummy" and gives me a kiss. It's heartbreaking.
My parents divorced when I was 6 and while I'd never admit it to them, it affected me horribly and I think that some of the issues I have now (anxiety and so on) may go back to my childhood. I don't want to put him through this. He has such a lovely life with a lovely home and we are loving parents, apart from the fact we don't get along most of the time.
I am sure that if it wasn't for DS we would be going our separate ways by now. It's so horrible. I hate this. I wish we could just have a happy relationship.
I have all these expectations for a partner that he does not match up to and I fear he never will. I have this idea of a dream man who would be romantic, look after me when I'm ill, give me a break without being asked to when I'm tired, be kind to me when I'm feeling low, do something just to make me happy. DH will give me a hug and maybe make me the odd cup of tea but that's about it. For some people that's enough but I don't feel like it's enough for me.
Social media has a lot to answer for too - I know people only show the good side of things but I often see friends who seem to be in happier, more appreciative relationships than us. I have a friend who is overjoyed with her new relationship and always telling me about how happy her new man makes her (they've been together nearly a year). It fills me with sadness as I feel this is something I'll never have.
I don't know what to do. I don't even feel like leaving is an option. I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve by posting this on MN but I feel like I have no-one else to talk to about this. I wish I could just be happy with my lot.
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Relationships
We make eachother unhappy but I can't put our son through divorce.
9 replies
SummerSlippingAway · 04/09/2016 22:27
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