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New friendship after being shat on

(6 Posts)
Skweeki Fri 02-Sep-16 22:44:46

I'll try not to drip feed...

I've recently been through a "break up" I you like. Trying to be vague, but the people who have gotten me through have made me see that it was a destructive, abusive friendship. I was actually suicidal for a few weeks (happened in May), but I'm getting there now.

I've recently connected with another school mom. We have so much in common- the same outlook on life, and a lot of the same experiences. I'm just so scared! After the sudden end of the friendship in May, I'm scared to even start to make new friends. I'm scared I going to start pushing people away. I know it sounds dramatic, but it really was "that bad".

I suppose the questions I asking are:

How do I stop myself from being shit scared when making new friends?...and

How do I develop this new friendship without looking like one of the "needy" friends that people are always Aibu-ing about?

I haven't even NC'd for this, but I don't even give a shit.

Not even my DH knows what to do with me 😁

The first time the "new" friend and I had a deep-and-meaningful, I came home and self-harmed. It scared me that much.

Forgive me if I'm jumbling.

ahsan Fri 02-Sep-16 22:53:07

Know how you feel, when I was young made friends with someone, she was a best friend to me and used to go to each other's homes all the time, till she disappeared on me and her father a 46 year old groomed me for that and used and lied to me for a few years. I was 16 by the way when the pedo destroyed my life. I'm now 29 and struggle to make friends as find it hard to get close to them just I case something bad happens again. In the same boat as you smile

ahsan Fri 02-Sep-16 22:55:26

Sorry it's just recently happened to you, couldn't tell anyone for years. Hope you feel better soon, time heals all wounds. 🌺💐

Skweeki Fri 02-Sep-16 22:57:24

ahsan sorry to hear this...wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy! I haven't come to terms with what's happened myself yet, so I'm so nervous about sharing on here. I'm 35 and feel like I'm still in the fucking schoolyard! Are you ok?

IreallyKNOWiamright Sat 03-Sep-16 10:11:45

I know how it feels to be shat on. The thing I've learnt from 2 occasions is boundaries. If they are not a user like one of my ex best friend was they will respect your boundaries. I thought this girl was my best friend until she confronted my dh about something then told me she thought it was funny how awkward he felt. Another time she twisted what my Mil had said about me too cause trouble there too. Real genuine people will want to be your friend but will respect boundaries. Just take it slowly meet once a week or a couple of times a week rather than being in each others pockets as I think that Is when it goes wrong. .

Skweeki Sat 03-Sep-16 10:18:03

Thank you.

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