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How to meet The One? Advice needed

(28 Posts)
honeybeeplusone Tue 30-Aug-16 11:09:30

I’m asking for a friend (honestly)… She’s in her mid-thirties, single, trying to meet someone special… She’s very outgoing, friendly, works for a big company also tried salsa, the usual going out with friends, online dating and speed dating... I’m trying to come up with some fresh ideas on where she can meet more people and potentially her soulmate smile I’ve suggested volunteering, Meet-Ups and climbing… Would anyone have any other ideas? Where did you meet your partner? Any suggestions looking at how your friends met?

MsStricty Tue 30-Aug-16 11:17:51

The One? Tell her to look in a mirror. Once she's stopped looking for "someone special" then she may just find them.

niceupthedance Tue 30-Aug-16 11:25:57

How long did she do online dating for? A couple of my friends met their partners quite quickly, but I was on there for three years on and off, and my cousin took a similar amount of time to find the right person.

honeybeeplusone Tue 30-Aug-16 11:34:42

MsStricty I think I know what you mean.. My friend is happy with her life and not obsessed about being with someone. Just trying to increase the chances of actually meeting someone nice by doing some activities. If she just stays at home and watches Netflix I doubt she will find anyone wink

Niceupthedance thank you, I will tell her not to give it up!

SleepingTiger Tue 30-Aug-16 11:35:10

What MsStricty says. It works.

DoubleCarrick Tue 30-Aug-16 11:37:07

I think "the one" is always in the most unlikely of places. Normally when you aren't looking

Runoutoftime16 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:43:58

Yes you find the one getting on with your life. Going for things that are true to your heart will find others close to your heart.smile

TheNaze73 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:58:15

Looking for "the one" is a tall order. With 3 billion people of the opposite sex on the planet, there's definitely more than one out there for her, if she thinks anything else, she living live through Mills & Boon fluffy glasses.

If she wants to get out & socialise, to raise the probability of meeting someone to check out, enjoy life and see what happens, then I suggest maybe an evening class at college, a group session at a gym like circuit training (3 relationships started at the class I go to), maybe voluntary work in a sector that interests her, or failing that, Fruday nights out in her local town, which is the night same sex couples tend to go out & about and socialise. Hope it all works out for her

TheNaze73 Tue 30-Aug-16 11:59:51

Reread that.
A) I meant Friday
B) Same Dec groups, not couples...

Confuse myself sometimes.

TheNaze73 Tue 30-Aug-16 12:00:21

Same sex. Fucking autocorrect!

honeybeeplusone Tue 30-Aug-16 12:18:19

Runoutoftime16 nicely put, thank you.

TheNaze73 it's the latter - going out and meeting people - perhaps I worded it rather clumsily.... Thanks for the suggestion of the circuit training at the gym - very practical suggestion and an activity I think she would enjoy! smile

CatyB Tue 30-Aug-16 12:21:06

Perhaps you or some of her other friends knows a potential someone, who can be a fit? That is how it worked for me!

herecomesthsun Tue 30-Aug-16 12:40:03

I think hobbies / evening classes/ holidays/ days out that you really enjoy, where there may be others of the opposite sex, is most likely to work.

honeybeeplusone Tue 30-Aug-16 14:02:16

CatyB sadly all possible options have been explored in the past wink but thanks for the suggestion (and have to say same here - I got to meet my DH via a friend!)

Justaboy Tue 30-Aug-16 14:11:54

Chances, statistics, probabilities, and of course lady luck herself and 'ole Cupid;!

Sounds a lovely lady, i hope she does find someone special to her:-)

RedMapleLeaf Tue 30-Aug-16 14:17:19

I suggest part time study at uni. I joined a society whilst doing a PhD and have never been asked out by so many men in their twenties (even compared to when I was in my twenties).

honeybeeplusone Tue 30-Aug-16 14:33:01

RedMapleLeaf smile she's just finished a two year postgrad course...and again - nothing! sad maybe wrong subject... or just lack of luck - which I agree with you Justaboy is really needed... She really is a lovely lovely person and good looking too - and so unfortunate that she cannot find anyone suitable. But thank you ladies for all the suggestions of activities - please keep them coming smile

Dowser Tue 30-Aug-16 19:36:20

Well, this is all a bit woo but I wrote a list of all the attributes I wanted in a man.
Good sense of humour
Solvent
Kind
Generous
Good looking etc

And I got him.

( pof....second man I met)

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Tue 30-Aug-16 19:43:10

Dowser, I did that too. I heard about Cosmic ordering (you place an order with the universe for exactly what you want in great detail!) I wrote it all out, how much I wanted to earn, what I wanted from my life, what my man would look like and be like.

I was on POF doing online dating and took some of the wish list and out that into my profile and lo and behold, my lovely DP turned up. He fitted exactly what I was looking for except that he doesn't play the guitar grin

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Tue 30-Aug-16 19:43:56

4th man I met, but only one date each.

SwearyGodmother Tue 30-Aug-16 19:45:45

Running club. Loads of couples I know (including me and DH) met through running clubs - different ones all over the country and online ones. The runnersworld forum is a veritable hotbed of eligible men.

lotusbiscuit Tue 30-Aug-16 19:48:11

Cycling, hockey, Running.

Or get her to read Mumsnet and be grateful for single life

Trills Tue 30-Aug-16 19:48:34

"The One" is a dangerous concept that keeps women with shit men.

honeybeeplusone Wed 31-Aug-16 10:39:46

Thanks Ladies, lots of great ideas! I think she should definitely try the Cosmic ordering (why not!) and SwearyGodmother running clubs sound perfect for her (especially the bit about the hotbed of eligible men wink).

alfagirl73 Wed 31-Aug-16 18:31:00

As someone who has recently met "the one" I have to say - there is no magic formula to finding him, and in fact, the harder you try the less likely it is you'll find him. I stopped trying so hard, was just enjoying some nice dates, not expecting anything serious, just focussed on being happy and enjoying MY life... and BAM - there he was. In fact, the way we met was such that there was a TINY window of opportunity in which our paths would cross.

I've always been really independent and wouldn't give up singledom for just anyone... I knew what I wanted but wasn't convinced he existed and refused to settle for less. Turns out he does exist - and I've found him. But it really was a one in a million thing; we both still can't believe we've met. But from the word go, we've just known. It feels different to any other relationship I've been in - ever. He's everything I've ever wanted. It's about being happy with yourself and your own life... don't base happiness on finding someone... when you take the pressure off, it happens.

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