Hi I'm really struggling with the current situation ... I started dating my ex D just over two years ago. From the offset he told me that he couldn't commit to a relationship because his job was ending in 6 months and he was moving overseas.. But I carried on seeing him anyway. After 4 months I was completely in love with him and we both decided to commit to eachother and do the long distance relationship and we were blissfully happy for the next 2 years. He is moving over this week to be with me and start new job. Last week was my final trip to visit him before he moved again and on the last night he stayed up all night whilst I was sleeping and went through all my phone messages from recently right up to 2012. In there he has seen messages from me flirting with an ex when we first met and some messages from 3-4 months in to our relationship which suggest I slept with the ex (We met up and had dinner, wine... He kissed me and I initially kissed him back) the next day I sent endless texts telling him I wanted to be friends only.. No sex and that I felt like a whore for having kissed him.. I never told any of this to my partner at the time because things were so up in the air. But this was one of the catalysts for me knowing i wanted to commit to him and the Long distance. It sounds stupid but over the next two years I completely forgot this had even happened
D said nothing to me about having looked through my phone next day.. He was quiet but let me leave thinking everything was normal . Then he sent me a long very hurtful email telling me what he had done that I wasn't the person he thought I was that he was shocked to see what I was really like and he has blocked all forms of communication with me and that I am out of his life forever.
I can't even explain how I feel. He is the love of my life and I feel so sad that I have hurt him. I regret everything that happened with this guy at the start of our relationship and having mulled it over I know I was acting out of insecurity and fear that the new boyfriend I was falling in love with was leaving me in a few months.
I don't feel as though it was cheating because even though we were very close we hadn't made a commitment at this point and from the moment I knew we were committed I have been completely and utterly loyal and faithful.
I don't know why he chose that night to go through my phone he has had all my passwords for over a year.
I also don't know why I have never deleted a single message from my phone.
It's been 6 days of no contact from him.
I've sent several emails apologising telling him how much i love him and trying to explain I was confused and insecure but no response. I don't know what to do.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I made mistakes.... Can he forgive me?
Whyislifesohardconfused2016 · 30/08/2016 05:44
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