Loooong story and I've been here a while in various forms so probably recognisable.
Short version married/together 20 years, 3 DC 6 and under. He had a mental breakdown and started acting unreasonably (sleeping in car, lying, financially reckless and hugely damaging, emotional possibly sexual affair denied) ended up in me moving near my parents (3hr away) supposed to be with him, but he just never came. It's been a year now and he still isn't here, still ill but with happy periods, works there but with no income so I am doing this on my own financial and emotional.
But we are still a married couple...
Anyway we basically haven't had a "talk" with the kids, just kept telling them daddy was working, but it's got to 2-3 weeks before he comes to see them maybe for a day or two and disappears off again in the night, hugely disruptive. But as we haven't chosen to split up there hasn't been any formality I guess for them.
Anyway DD1s behaviour is good but she now has real sobbing periods, I've found out in the last few days:
She's told her grandad her dad came to her room one night told her HE loved her but couldn't live with her as I wont let him and don't love him. NOT true I have begged him to come home.
She's told nursery teachers "daddy is separate now and he has a new life without me"
Tonight she's upset with me (overtired didn't want to go to bed) shut her room saying she hated me, when I went the check on her she's refusing to even look at me and I spotted in her hand her clutching a photo of him
I'm fucking broken tonight now.
I have to end this formally don't I? Or is it too late and I've destroyed my beautiful precious girls?
I hate him right now, I've tried to hard not to cal time so they can have a family and a father. And it was all wrong. And whatever I feel about giving him time I can't do it can I?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Think I've managed this all wrong and fucked my kids up
16 replies
HobnailsandTaffeta · 28/08/2016 21:21
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.