My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Contact Order Hearing

1 reply

user1472221974 · 26/08/2016 16:03

Hi There, I'm new here so not sure if I'm posting this in the right place! Looking for some info or advice from anyone who's been in this situation: My ex has filed a contact order through his solicitor as he's not been allowed to have the kids stay at his parents' home, where he lives, for the last 8 months; prior to this, they stayed with him for about half the school holidays (he never wanted them for more than 2 weeks in the summer as he had no childcare if his mum wasn't about to look after them, which she did for 1 of the 2 weeks anyway, as he would only take 1 week off work to see them). This is due to him letting them watch things like 'Chuckie' and 'It' (they're under 8yo), letting them ride in cars without seats, stay up till 2am and sleep until 1pm, etc. He has no common sense, regard for routine or safety, and I don't think it's in the best interests of the kids to stay with him. As a side note, he lives a few hours away and doesn't drive, so for them to get there, they take a bus, then a train, then a car journey each way. They are exhausted when they're returned to me, and they've told me they just stay indoors at his, playing video games and watching TV. The oldest told me she doesn't want to go there anymore as she was terrified after the last visit from the films in addition to just sitting around for a week or two, doing nothing. I have confirmed to him and his solicitor numerous times that he can visit the children in our surrounding area as often is as reasonable, suggesting every other weekend or one weekend a month due to the distance, and I can drop them first thing in the morning and collect them after dinner. He has only taken this up once, a couple of weeks ago, when he came down for 4 days because he was 'forced' to. I should note that up until a year ago, we lived even further away, but we moved 4 hours closer to him - he has not increased visitation at all since then. Anyway, has anyone had a situation like this? I think the worst case scenario is that they have to go stay with him as they did before if this is the contact order, but are there any conditions attached to this e.g. the routine must be adhered to, safety must be considered at all times, inappropriate content must not be viewed, etc? I have emails and texts from him admitting that he's done all these things and that he's 'trying to be a better father.' I read that 90% of orders are granted and it's worrying that my kids might be put in situations that are potentially harmful to their wellbeing, if not physical, psychological. Any insight would be appreciated!

OP posts:
Report
FreeFromHarm · 26/08/2016 18:53

You need to get legal advice, and explain to your solicitor all of your concerns

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.