Is it me or them?

[April2013]

I know it's almost definitely them but I doubt myself a lot and wonder if other people are in the same boat? My in laws and my family have always been in conflict with me about pretty much everything I do to keep young DC safe eg baby safe toys for the baby, no choking hazards in the bedroom etc etc, I follow the NHS and lullaby trust advice about SIDS. Nothing extreme, I just follow the basic advice as much as possible. I had a stressful childhood myself with lots of anger and absence from my parents which has made me anxious - I am keen to reduce the risk of bad things happening to them, but I just want to follow the child safety rules and then get on with enjoying my beautiful DC. It has meant I have not been able to build up trust with both sides of the family so they have never done any babysitting, I've become very anxious about these things when around them as they constantly rebel eg carelessly dropping medication on the floor, giving the baby 3+ toys, putting the heating on high etc etc, so even supervised contact is very stressful, I am NC with inlaws after they became very aggressive with me about it and on brink of going LC with my mother. So now my limited family support is even more limited, but that seems better than the strings that came with the family support as it is stressful and upsetting. I just wish things were different and I can't help but think 'why me?' a lot. Why do parents find it impossible to respect their grown up children as parents? I'm nearly 40! It just makes me feel really bad about myself - why do I deserve this when other people have kind and respectful grandparents for their DC? It makes me feel isolated and lonely, and pretty angry where in laws are concerned.