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Ex husband contact

(4 Posts)
Onmyownwith4kids Thu 25-Aug-16 00:27:16

Three years ago I discovered my husband was having an affair. There was an incredibly painful period where he begged me to take him back said I was his soulmate. Usual claptrap. When I discovered that he had had two Christmas dinners, one with our family saying he would be nothing without us. Then two hours later with the ow and her parents discussing how resilient the children would be to divorce. That was it for me. I finally divorced him. He couldn't believe it. Said I had broken 'for better or worse' marriage vows. My issue now is our four children. He has seen them three times over the last year and always when it suits him. They are with him now. He was supposed to have them for two days. An unexpected 'course' for work came up over the bank holiday weekend. That means he's done one day in the summer holidays. I've been invited away in October. I asked if he will have them. He had replied he will 'see if it fits in.' I never say a word against him to the kids. They went off today happily with no thought of how little he does. He is their dad. Am I unreasonable to be so filled with resentment. I can't have a life while he picks the moments of parenting he fancies. I am so worn down by it. He will not commit to regular contact,

Lilacpink40 Thu 25-Aug-16 00:34:39

I've had to ask my STBXH to do more with our DCs so I empathise with the resentment feelings.

It sounds like your ex is being completely ridiculous. My STBXH has had one to two days a week (not evenings, only one sleepover) this month and I think he should do more.

One day over the holiday period is very unfair!

Is it possible to go to court for a court access order?

Onmyownwith4kids Thu 25-Aug-16 00:52:14

Thankyou for that advice. I will see if I can do that. Very low at the moment. I have spent the last few weeks desperately juggling childcare and work. I feel worthless when I see the kids swan off with him without a backward glance. I see all the fathers for justice reports of angry men deprived of access but nobody ever seems to get angry for the women left doing the job of 2 parents

Lilacpink40 Thu 25-Aug-16 01:17:06

Your DCs may be running off seeing him only as the fun babysitter though.

I was unhappy at how easily mine went off with their dad when he'd lied and cheated, but then my youngest explained one day that it was great having lots of babysitters and listed his dad as one of them.

Being a babysitter may look good, but truly being a parent is really special. You're there for the good and bad, you get to see 100% of the people they are (not a snippet), you're their security, they're at home with you.

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