About a month ago i discovered that DH has been to a prostitute. Found out on the night it happened. He admitted he's called one and went to her address but according to him changed his mind at the door and did not go in. Which might or might not be true (he withdrew £150 that night and came back with around £90 but also had drinks in friend's company and then alone).
I wasnt particularly shocked by the discovery as our relationship has been crap for a long time. Sex life is non existent because he is addicted to porn and was always more keen to do that than get close with me. Over the years i have managed to detach from all this but in the begining it hurt. A lot. I almost resigned to the fact that at 35 i'm done with intimacy and sex and that there was little of that in the future and i was kind of ok with that. Kind of. Now his visit to escorts has opened a wound which i seem to have hidden and healed (or so i thought). It hurts and i feel such a rage towards him. I hate him with passion. The thing is, he acts like nothing has happened. Come evening he picks up his ipad and goes to bed (we sleep separately) leaving me downstairs, making no effort to talk about things. He knows i am angry. It was his birthday a few days ago and I didn't even mention it, DS wrote a card and gave it to him and that was that.
What hurts me the most is not the fact he might have shagged a prostitute but the fact he is so detached and makes zero effort to fix things. He calls me during the day and we might talk like everything is ok and have a laugh or he can apologise for his behaviour but when we're home, face to face, he doesnt talk about what happened, totally ignores it. It drives me insane. How can this relationship ever get better if he prefers to hide upstairs? How can he act like all is ok? Am i supposed to start difficult conversation after what he did? Why should I? Does he not care?...
I did think of leaving but i dont think i can afford to and neither can he. So how do we make this work, is it up to me to start the fixing (yet again)? What would you do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Escorts and DH acting like nothing has happened
DollsHouseTroubles · 24/08/2016 22:46
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.