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Dating Advice - Chasing The Girl

(15 Posts)
LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 17:10:55

Hey, looking for some advice on a girl I've been seeing as I feel the more things are dwindling the more and more I'm becoming fond of her

We started chatting on a dating site around a year ago but nothing ever materialised until a few weeks ago. We added each others social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and she started to tag me in things, one saying we should hang out at a movie which was in the cinema. We continued chatting away very regular and she was liking pics and stuff on Facebook and Twitter which I was uploading

We eventually arranged to meet at the mall as friends and we both said this a few times during our meet. I felt as though we had a great time as we laughed almost constantly and it was scary how much we have in common. We do have enough not in common just to keep things interesting. We never actually made it to the cinema as we stayed in the bar and later moved on to the restaurant and laughed the whole time. We both seem to want the same things from life such as the kids and family quirt life and nice breaks away.

Ever since then though the chat feels more like a one way thing coming from my part and I'm definitely not getting the same vibes from her replies. We were planning on possibly meeting again that coming weekend( nothing was set in stone) but she said she had some issues with her job which I understood. I sent her a message saying not to worry and you'll be OK etc. We're not exactly teenagers either but something feels different about this girl from the others I've dated.

We both go on separate holidays this weekend and she says we'll definitely meet up when we're both back. She still likes the occasional Tweet and Facebook status and pic but the chat seems to be more initiated on my part. I don't want to appear to clingy but I do want her to know I like her. I spoke to a couple of my friends but one says go for it and make sure you I let her know but the other one says I'm probably just over thinking things. I'm at a loss. Is she wanting chased or is she just not that into me?

I know this is a bit long winded but I'd like peoples opinions on whether she just doesn't want to see me again, have I been friend zoned or am I just completely overthinking things or do I just lack the badboy streak some women go for?

With all due respect I'm just your typical honest, hard working guy who likes his football, family and friends just looking to settle down with the right girl so I can't believe I'm on here looking for advice lol

Many Thanks

Summerlovinf Wed 24-Aug-16 17:28:45

I'd guess that she's letting you down gently...or trying to. Women don't usually back off or miss dates unless it's something very serious come up...or if they are not that interested.

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 17:39:06

Thank you for your reply. Yesterday though I didn't message her then in the afternoon she mesaaged saying what shed bought for her trip Spain then we started chatting normalyy

Today I mesaged her but I've had nothing, she's been on social media. I'm starting to think its payback for all the one night stands and such I had when i was younger.

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 17:47:23

Is it some sort of "see how you like it" payback as I've done it to girls in the past, making me feel like some of the girls in my past?

Summerlovinf Wed 24-Aug-16 18:00:15

No it's not payback. She might be busy; she might not be interested. There are other people out there who will want a relationship with you.

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 18:26:40

I know it sounds daft after only 1 date but it just felt right

I feel like im 14 again and feel so stupid for letting this get to me so much

takesnoprisoners Wed 24-Aug-16 18:35:40

You probably are a lot full on than you imagine. So maybe, give her some space and go on that holiday. Come back and see how things are and just talk to her. tell her you like her and would like this to go further and ask how she feels. If she says no, move on. Good luck.

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 20:26:12

Really appreciate the time and effort in to the replies

What do you reckon about a "safe trip" text or is it just a case of letting things go and texting nearer to when we're both back in the country?

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 20:27:51

Or even just letting things go completely?

MariposaUno Wed 24-Aug-16 20:32:20

Have a great time! Will suffice and then don't send her any messages while on holidays. It gives her space but leaves it open and if she contacts you towards the end or when she returns then great.

I think if it took a year to meet you are either friend zoned or its going to be a slow process.

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 20:38:21

When I say a year it wasn't constant messaging. It was only after we chatted one night and decided to add each other on social media and saw how alike we where that the chatting became deeper.

So you reckon one more message to wish her a good time and if I don't here back I should just call it quits and move on?

Fuckoffdailymailyoufuckers Wed 24-Aug-16 20:38:49

Friend zoned?! confusedshock

LoveSickSammy Wed 24-Aug-16 23:41:36

Friend zoned as in she sees me as a friend

Fuckoffdailymailyoufuckers Thu 25-Aug-16 06:30:51

I hate that phrase. It's awful.

Stop chasing her. If you like her, tell her and you'll find out if she likes you back. Simple.

milpool Thu 25-Aug-16 06:37:01

There's no such thing as friend zoning 🙄 It's a bullshit phrase made up to shame women who dare not to have a romantic interest in someone.

So if I've read this right, you've chatted online for around a year, but only met up once?

I really think you need to take a step back on this. There are plenty of people who can seem to click online but just not have that spark in person. I had a few online dates like this. It's just one of those things.

Just...cool off and let her contact you if she's interested. And move on!

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