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She always brings the dog!!!

(17 Posts)
Overandout74 Tue 23-Aug-16 09:37:23

Now let me start by saying I'm an animal lover and have a dog of my own. He's a staffy cross and he is 11 now.. He's getting on.

He is very well trained and loves my children.
I have three boys and I'm expecting a girl grin

Anyway here lies the problem.. My best freind owns a small dog cross bread not sure what kind.
Now don't get me wrong the dog is cute. However he isn't that well behaved.. Very yappy, jumping on furniture ect.. You get the point.

Now i love my best friend.. But every time she comes over she brings her dog. I value our freind ship.. But she doesn't even ask if it's okay, she just assumes. She does treat her dog like a child and takes him every where with her. I'm the opposite, I love my dog. But he's a dog and I don't drag him out every where with me.
One of the biggest problem with this is my children sometimes get over excited with him and get too loud near him ect and he has snapped a few times at them. Not bit them just really yappy.
My friend always ends up telling my children off and in return so do I..

But I feel bad because they don't understand and they are used to playing with their medium sized dog.
Also my dog doesn't like it either they can't be near each other. He is fine with dogs outside the house.. But it's his territory and he hates it. He growls and has snapped at my freinds dog once or twice.

Nothing has ever come of it but it's really not fair and again I end up telling my dog off and putting him in another room while her dog sits on her lap on my sofa.

Her dog winds my dog up too by growling every time he comes any where near.
I feel really cruel on my dog and I shouldn't have to tell my dog or my children off.

Like I say she just brings him along knowing this happens.
I feel like I don't have much of a friend ship left with her because atm I can't get out that much I have a lot of health problems in this pregnancy and also can't drive atm.

I want to invite her around more often.. But how do I tell her the dog isn't welcome without damaging the friendship?

I'm not a very conflicting person I hate it in fact.
How do I minimise it on this Subject?

ravenmum Tue 23-Aug-16 09:43:49

If you say "Can you not bring your dog, as he gets too excited" and that damages your friendship, then it is not much of a friendship.

Overandout74 Tue 23-Aug-16 09:54:01

I get what you're saying.
She just never leaves him at home, even when she is doing her job (hair and beauty) she take him to clients homes.
So i don't think she actually can leave him at home and I didn't want to upset her is all.. But you're right.
I just need to grow a backbone

OhThatThingAgain Tue 23-Aug-16 09:56:11

Unfortunately you just have to tell her the truth. You don't feel safe with the dog around your children (and your own dog).

I have two staffies, they are trained and child friendly. I would not have an untrained dog like that in my home. I doubt my dogs would tolerate it, at best they'd be very miserable but I think if the dog snapped at my children they might just do something defensive. They are never aggressive but threatened in their own home, I'd not take that risk.

Tell her you fear for her dog as well as your own children and dog - maybe that will be enough if you can't face being brutally honest.

A friend should understand and accept your wishes, good luck.

ravenmum Tue 23-Aug-16 09:58:40

I'm learning to grow one myself. Now I've tried saying what I thought a few times, and been surprised by the reaction. The sky didn't fall down or anything.

Really, she's a pain in the arse. If you say something to her and she leaves the dog at home it's a win. If you say something and she throws a tantrum and never comes again it's a win! Might as well give it a go.

zolalola Tue 23-Aug-16 10:08:26

No way would I put up with a dog snapping at my kids. My DD has been bitten by a toy breed and although not badly injured she has a scar on her face. Would your friend tolerate your kids misbehaving in her home?
If she wouldn't then I'd be having serious words because like you say she sees her dog as her baby

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain Tue 23-Aug-16 10:21:21

I have this situation with a friend. I have no advice but I keep hoping my dog will snap it's neck. Sneakily squirt it with a water pistol when it pisses you off?

Overandout74 Tue 23-Aug-16 10:26:17

Yeah I mean luckily the dog did no damage and after that the kids stayed away. Bit truth be told they were just being kids and trying to stroke the dog nothing else.

He isn't well trained and quite honestly doesn't actually like people in general.
He'll bark at them and then run and sit on her lap. She'll then proceed to per him and reassure him every thing is okay hmm

I mean it isn't my place to teach her how to train her animal.. But if she is going to take him with her every where he should atleast be human friendly and trained lol right?

Now I feel as though I'm bitching about her. But I'm really frustrated by the lack of respect tbh. I wouldn't just bring my dog with me regardless.

It annoys me when he is the sole topic of conversation and then she will just say.. "it's like having a child"
NO no no its not!

I think I'm going to tell her it's dangerous.

ineedabodytransplant Tue 23-Aug-16 10:33:05

And what will happen when her dog does bite one of your children? Too late then. And it will one day.

Your children have to behave around the dog. Your own pet gets shoved out.

If someone was visiting me or doing some work in my house and they showed up with their dog without checking I was ok with it?.......there's the door, don't let it hit you in the arse as you leave.

And I'm someone who loves dogs to bits. Just I like them trained, relaxed and well behaved.

You need to stop this now, friend or no friend before something serious happens

Overandout74 Tue 23-Aug-16 10:37:41

Your right and tbh
Responsible dog owners don't bring their untrained dangerous dogs every where with them.
Especially if they're unsociable and a little aggressive. I suppose because it's such a small dog I didn't quite think of the dangers as much as I would have, had it been a bigger breed... Which is stupid I know. I'm just such a passive person and I've let her walk all over me where her animal is concerned.

SandyY2K Tue 23-Aug-16 14:13:30

Just keep telling her it's not a good time whenever she wants to visit from now onwards, if you can't bring yourself to tell her not to bring the dog.

Then if you visit her (without your kids), you don't have to deal with the stress of her dog jumping on your furniture or with your kids getting told off.

It also means that you can leave when you want to.

I hate it when dog owners assume people are okay being licked or jumped on by their dogs. Then they tell you the dog's just being friendly.

DaDman66 Tue 23-Aug-16 14:53:49

A friend of mine brought their dog round on a social once. I have cats and they're terrified of dogs. I said they'd have to take it back home. They were pretty reasonable about it. Should have asked first anyway.

Sod yappy dogs, who needs them.

JellyBean31 Tue 23-Aug-16 16:42:25

What would happen if your bigger/stronger (albeit well behaved) dog felt provoked to the point he snapped and attacked her smaller badly behaved dog? That would really put your friendship at risk wouldn't it?

Kissedbubble93 Tue 23-Aug-16 16:46:32

Your home is your home, which means your rules, if you don't want another dog there that is more than fair enough.

Just ask her if she could leave her dog at home as its not suitable for you.

If she gets funny about it, that's her problem and she should respect you and your home.

iminshock Tue 23-Aug-16 16:56:07

Take a deep breath and just ask her to please not to bring the dog
I hate having dogs in my home. When people ask I just politely say No.
Once someone brought a big slobbery smelly boxer to my house without asking and I asked her to keep it outside.

All dogs smell. It's just that their owners get used to it . I realise some people might like the smell of dogs but I hate it. I do like the smell of horses which are always welcome , if not actually insideconfused

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Tue 23-Aug-16 17:05:06

I have had to tell people who bring their dogs everywhere not to bring their dog to my house.

In my case, my dog (Chihuahua x Pit bull) is the dog aggressive, yappy one. She loves people but hates other dogs, and she's old. I'd rather not put myself and other people or their dogs through the aggravation.

In your case, tell her, since your dog is getting old, that too much excitement from her dog won't be good for him. It's not untrue and not accusatory to her being a bad dog owner.

I hate the "dog is like having a baby" thing too. You can love your pet, but it's not like having a baby. Nope.

User545454 Tue 23-Aug-16 18:29:44

I'd just say can you leave the dog at home simple as that. If she asks why just say you hate having to shut your dog away and your kids but don't want to run the risk of her dog being eaten. My dog is very people/dog friendly but not in our house she becomes very territorial and it's hard work , you can't relax and have a chat without worrying about whether the dogs are killing each other!

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