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Abusive ex

(4 Posts)
user1471805158 Sun 21-Aug-16 19:54:37

I've recently found out I am 12 weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. I broke up with him as a result of the abuse I received from him not only mentally but physically as well. He knows that I am pregnant and the last time I saw him he was really aggressive and threw furniture at me. I kept thinking he would change but he never did and never will and it's like watching a ticking time bomb waiting for his next violent outburst. I also found out he has not only a serious alcohol problem which I knew about but also a serious cocaine addiction which I didn't know about along with other drugs. On top of this he has a violent criminal record and is on a good behaviour discharge. He now wants to be a part of mine and the babies life but I don't want to risk mine or the babies wellbeing as I know he won't change. Although the baby isn't born yet, would I be wrong to restrict him for contact, especially as I don't trust him alone with the baby. I feel like stopping contact would be best but I don't want to be one of them mums who cuts their ex out of the babies life if it's not the right thing to do.

Arfarfanarf Sun 21-Aug-16 19:57:51

I dont think a baby needs a violent, drunk, druggie criminal for a father, do you?

I would fight very hard to ensure all possible restrictions are in place with the support of all agencies.

DorynownotFloundering Sun 21-Aug-16 20:00:53

i don't think you are being unreasonable at all. You & your baby's safety comes first.

Were there any recorded incidents of his abuse / violence towards you ?

TBH with his record I think you could very reasonably deny contact, but best get legal advice. Maybe your local CAB?

Just keep your distance from him too don't discuss anything with him or allow any contact. Get it marked on your midwifery records so they know if he tries to get in to see you in labour.

Shizzlestix Sun 21-Aug-16 20:43:08

I fail to see why you would want a twat of his nature anywhere near your child. The trouble is, even if you don't put him on the birth certificate, he can request a DNA test and access. Hopefully a solicitor will be able to advise you re preventing access given his history, but I keep seeing on here how even violent partners are granted access.

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