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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

not feeling OLD?....dating thread 107

999 replies

PrizeyPrize · 20/08/2016 07:31

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will.
12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now)
13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good.
14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP
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prizeyprize · 20/08/2016 07:33

Thought I'd kick it off

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Eeek321 · 20/08/2016 08:31

Yes apologies I killed the last 😳

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petal68 · 20/08/2016 09:04

Eeek welcome to the thread I'm fairly new as well but it flys along so fast that you soon feel part of it but its difficult to keep up! Hopefully everyone was out on exciting dates last night!

So exciting for you first date today? Where are you going? It's lovely when you get that feeling isnt it - I've only been on one so far this time and I was so nervous hopefully next time I will be a bit better.

Was chatting to a few men last night but the guy I thought I clicked with the most wasnt online which was a shame. One guy who sent a lovely message just as I logged off last night and looked very nice has been deleted this morning which is just my luck!

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Destinysdaughter · 20/08/2016 09:23

Thank God there's a new thread! Am having a little break from dating as I've got a job interview on Weds and have got to prepare a presentation for it. Mr Poshwriter works in a similar field to me and sent me some useful info on it which was lovely of him!

Been chatting to a French guy and he's going to take me out for lunch on Weds after my interview. Think I'll need a Wine by then. I hate interviews!

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Eeek321 · 20/08/2016 09:32

petal thanks for the welcome. That's gutting to be deleted! I always wonder if they're the married ones hiding their profiles. Are you on tinder? I've returned to it but it's rubbish messages keep going missing.
Still not sure where to go on today's date...was going to be a lovely walk in the sun but may change to pub as wind and rain due. Making it hard for me to decide what to wear....
And it is exciting.... I never normally think anything before a date...just remain neutral and only feel nerves seconds before I'm about to meet them. This one has been on my mind all week! Butterflies going.
destiny that's a great treat to look forward to after an interview!!

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minop · 20/08/2016 09:52

Well after mr flowers been a Hugh let down I did something stupid! I phoned Mr plaster who I was trying to let down gently. He came round last night and stroked my ego, all night Wink

I hope I don't get bad karma for using him. He left for work this morning saying next time we're going out for a meal and to let him know when I'm free. I fancy the pants off him and he's good in bed but there's no mental attraction there for me. He's a soft sole and I'd been too hard for him.

Great news about the job destiny and the date after will take your mind off scrutinising your interview.

Eeek looking forward to your loo update! I like the ones where your excited and not just going though the motions.

Petal I always find it strange when that happens but bullet dodging has become a new hobby so I see it as that!

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Destinysdaughter · 20/08/2016 10:09

Minop that made me laugh! Well you're only human...😈

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Ilovetomodell · 20/08/2016 10:19

hi, I'm new to this thread - can I ask you which sites you're on? I've been on pof so long I feel like I know everyone ! Just joined guardian soul mates but it's abit quiet!

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petal68 · 20/08/2016 10:34

Hi, I havent tried Tinder yet I dont know whether my self esteem is good enough to be judged on one photo but as I'm not getting too far with POF I may give it a try. I presume you set age and how far you want to travel? Hope so because I think my 19 year old son is on it and I dont want him to know I am as well lol!

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Lilacpink40 · 20/08/2016 10:43

3rd date later for me. We're both free now but I'm making him wait. I don't want to come across as too eager.

Minop good to hear about dodging bullet, but are you sure soft man would be so bad, sounds like you 'click' physically?

Petal I'd bet married too.

Good luck on interview destiny

About 75% of me wants to serve moose burgers later. The other part thinks it may be better to wait. Will see how I feel later. Should I pick up protection or is that man's job?

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petal68 · 20/08/2016 11:26

Yeah could well have been married or possibly joined after a few drinks last night and thought better of it this morning!

So Tinder - does it use your Facebook profile pic or can you pick another one to use? Dont really want to use my Facebook photo! Bit scared of it linking to my facebook to be honest.

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WavingNotDrowning · 20/08/2016 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WavingNotDrowning · 20/08/2016 14:27

This reply has been deleted

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UpYerGansey · 20/08/2016 14:41

What's a moose burger?? 😂

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Eeek321 · 20/08/2016 14:51

upyergansy I think it's a shag!

I used to like tinder...and yes there no evidence on Facebook.....as soon as you upload u need to hide your profile and adjust photos to your suiting....then go public again. But this time round I keep being sent messages but then they disappear for a day or two and then reappear? Makes me wonder if the men I think havnt responded to me actually have but messages are just lost. I'm on Android does anyone else notice problems? I did read it's a bit clunky with android phones.
wavingnotdrowning you have a great selection! Try them all out! 😉

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Eeek321 · 20/08/2016 14:53

Oh and by the way....my date has postponed until tomorrow due to work....seems very genuine and apologetic and to be honest am attracted to a man who works hard, my ex was a loser that couldn't hold down a job!

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Destinysdaughter · 20/08/2016 15:01

Waving hope you are enjoying your hols!

Hopefully seeing Poshwriter next Fri. He's not v available as he travels a lot with his job. Told him he reminded me of Tom Hiddlestone and he laughed but thought I meant Loki ( ie bad boy). I said no, more the character in The Night Manager. But he hadn't seen it so the reference was lost on him!

He's a nice person to to know anyway regardless of what happens between us.

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WavingNotDrowning · 20/08/2016 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Destinysdaughter · 20/08/2016 18:41

Tough call. Think it is wise tho to take some time to regroup otherwise you are in danger of taking unresolved issues and emotions into a new relationship

I am getting so many messages from Yanks these days on OKCupid. Makes me think they're all worried about Trump becoming president and want to find a way to leave...!😀

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PrizeyPrize · 20/08/2016 18:59

Hey Waving good to see you back! Hope you are healing nicely and taking things steady.

Hi everyone else and newcomers...isn't it nice to have a new thread, like changing the bed linen, nice and fresh feeling.

So I have date 2 (still can't believe it's only been one date, I feel like I know him loads more, it's weird) with Cool tomorrow,....well it's actually a night away....rushing a bit.?...yep I know but fuck it....I'll enjoy it now and deal with mess after (although hoping there is none because he's lovely). He's taken time off work...that's a sign he's keen isn't it?? I'm so so excited!! Grin

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Lilacpink40 · 20/08/2016 19:19

Moose burgers served today Grin lots of chatting after and he's texted to say he really likes me. There are things I'm not sure about, but going to be open-minded until we've spent more time together also the sex was good so I'd be up for that again.

Wave I remember you from previous thread, sorry to hear it didn't work out, but it's good to hear that you've had holiday and healing time.

Eeek I'd give him another chance as sometimes things do genuinely come up.

Destiny poshwriter sounds like nice man, perhaps his work will settle in the future?

Prize I hope you enjoy moose burgers on your date too.

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Clawdeen · 20/08/2016 19:47

Am pleased to hear of moose burgers / potential moose burgers being delivered!

Need to go back and read the whole thread.

prizey I think taking time off work is a great sign.

I've been chatting to a few men on Soulmates today. One keeps banging on about how it saddens him that I'm a widow ( I ticked that box under relationship status). Whilst I don't mind it being out in the open obviously, it's not exactly a topic to dwell on initially surely?! One is more promising and have arranged a date for Monday.

Another has said he wants to meet me for a drink but then says he's hesitant because he's never 'met' anyone with kids before and isn't sure what he wants. Is that some kind of code for 'just wants sex' do you think? He's local and chatty so might meet him, if he overcomes his hesitation.

Then 3 others with the 'hey there, how ya doing' opening. Haven't responded to those!

Haven't had any interest for ages and then this flurry. Perhaps the rain has kept all the men in on their sofas!

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PrizeyPrize · 20/08/2016 20:59

Thanks Claw Grin I think so too.
Congratulations on the date! The empathetic one is maybe just trying to be nice, but try and change the subject, you certainly shouldn't be dwelling on that aspect.
Re the one who can't decide to try you out because of the kids sounds like a knob....you should say you've never met anyone who is but you are open minded. Next!!
Enjoy the flurry of activity!!
Lilac yay for the moose burgers!! Go you!! Gotta love a flipping moose burger Grin

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Clawdeen · 20/08/2016 21:11

Haha prizey what a great response! It was a bit bizarre, my profile clearly refers to me having my kids all the time. He was messaging back and forth loads and then the whole 'I'd love to meet you for a drink but I'm hesitant about you having kids'. Is he expecting me to plead?!

Well I'm now not so sure about Monday's date, we'll call him Mr Cricket. He got my message this morning saying I'd check with my babysitter and let him know what time I can meet him. An hour ago I got an automated message (I assume!) saying 'I'd like to reply but my subscription has run out'. Fair enough, but I can see he's been on the dating site for the past hour and still is online. Surely he would have noticed/been notified if his subscription has run out? Any experts on Soulmates?

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PrizeyPrize · 20/08/2016 21:26

claw that is an automated response from GSM, it can't be sent unless his subscription has run out. He can still browse though, so thats the activity you can see.

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