Hi
I have been seeing a guy for 3 years. At the start it was wonderful. All my friends were envious, because he treated me amazingly and was so thoughtful and romantic. About 18 months into the relationship he changed. He started drinking a lot a the weekends and so when it came to the days I could see him (I have a young child) he was always tired when he saw me. Too tired to do anything with me, but by the time the weekend came around he had recovered his energy and was ready to drink loads with his mates again.
He stopped wanting sex. I eventually stopped initiating because it was too upsetting to be rejected. We once went 6 weeks without doing it and when I tentatively mentioned it he thought it had been about two weeks and was shocked to be told it was six!
I persevered. He used to plan holidays for us but now the only holidays he plans or goes on are stag dos.
He's put on a lot of weight. When I first met him he had an amazing body, but now is quite podgy and doesn't look how he used to. He loved going to the gym but seems to have lost that focus.
He is still very affectionate. Loves hugs and kisses. No longer seems to like passionate kisses, though.
I've dumped him about twice for the sex situation, but he always had a reason for the lack of sex and I took him back.
I realise I have only given you an outline, but to be honest there aren't that many good times recently to balance it out.
Last week we had his sister's christening of her baby and he did not talk to me the entire day. I spoke to his mum and other family members loads of times, so the excuse of it being a family celebration and he needed to mingle doesn't wash.
What should I do? I'm really heartbroken. I dumped him and he is telling me he is really upset but not making any moves to get me back.He wants to stay in constant contact, texting me several times daily just like when we were together (he has always done that, even over the last few months when he has not wanted me sexually).
I feel awful and just want to feel good again
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Relationships
Could you guys please help me get over this guy?
mumofone1234 · 19/08/2016 01:41
You're right , Adora. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result... didn't Einstein say that's the definition of insanity?
This thread is really helping me. Thank you 
Thanks Merville. I've not heard of bait and switcher before... is that an actual thing? I'm I don't know, he kept it up for the first 18 months and really was a great boyfriend. Couldn't have asked for more. The stag dos tend to be abroad, so he pays in advance to the organiser and then goes a few months later. He is always really up for it.
I do think there's a bit of laziness and taking me for granted. He used those words himself each time I brought it up and asked him to change. He always promises to and just doesn't.
I'm feeling loads better now. I've let it go. I want someone who's excited to be with me and recognises my awesomeness 
Just googled 'bait and switch': the act of advertising goods at a seemingly bargain price with the intention of substituting them for inferior goods. Love it!
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