Just that really. I don't get ill very often and when I am ill I try my best to carry on as normal.
Since last year I have been suffering postnatal depression and anxiety. I tried my best to self help for a while. But I couldn't sleep started having heart palpitations and worried about everything. I told my partner and he doesn't say it but gives of the vibe that I'm a lazy attention seeker.
I went to see the nurse and told her how I felt and she recommended me for cbt.
I was ashamed to tell my husband but had to when I couldn't take my 3 children to the initial appointment.
He didn't really say anything which was a relief to me.
When I tell him about my sessions and what we discussed he looks uncomfortable like he wants to say something but is holding in it.
Anyway, for the past month I have had migraines. The only times I'm not in pain is just after I wake up.
I told him what I was going through and again he does nothing to help me. His mum lives across the road and since I'm co-sleeping with my baby girl he decided to stay over over there pretty much everyday.
My daughter is still breastfed and goes to sleep really late sometimes. I could be up to 2-3 trying to put her to sleep. Then she wants to breastfed in the night. After that my eldest son who is 6 wakes me up at 7 no matter what time he goes to bed the night before, and wants breakfast.
I try to go back to sleep but I can't. My head hurts too much and they make too much noise. This is my morning everyday. Sometimes he will take the eldest to his mums but will often bring him back unfed.
Forward to yesterday and I've started having cold sweats and shivering, pains in my stomach and this throbbing headache. Tablets get rid of the shivering but nothing will budge this headache. I told him and was showing him my goosebumps saying please can you look after them for a whole day and night. I'm trying to stop breastfeeding aswell so it would help in that. He doesn't say anything or care and then I start talking about the fact that I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown and that I can't do it again tomorrow. He flips and says so what? Stop fucking moaning all the time? I said that I'm only moaning because I'm not getting any help. If he would've just stepped up a little bit a few months ago I wouldn't be this bad right now.
I feel like I'm being very selfish and childish because I can't cope with even folding clothes. Everything is exhausting. But if I don't do it no one will.
I told him I've been thinking about suicide and hanging myself from the light. It took me a lot to tell him I was crying when I wrote the message. He replied lol you would break the light it wouldn't work. I couldn't believe that he was joking around about this stuff. I need just 1 day to myself and one night to myself. No children just so I can sleep and get back to normal. But he won't help me. I feel like dropping the kids off at his mums and checking into a hotel for the day as I feel I have no other option. I'm feeling this was due to pure exhaustion. If I had a break I would feel more able to cope and the physical symptoms would go to.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Does your partner look after you when you're ill?
Atlas15 · 17/08/2016 08:49
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