Advice for a newly married girl who mainly has single friends

[happilymarried1]

Hi I am newly married and want to know any advice on how to get on well and avoid arguments with hubby. Btw I want to meet married friends because most of my friends are single

[ButIbeingpoor]

Just be yourself. Don't ditch old friends.

[ButIbeingpoor]

( actually if you're married why are you describing yourself as a girl and not a woman?)

[Grannypants1]

Shouldn't you have figured out how to get on with him before you married him?

[VioletBam]

Hubby? "Married girl"

You're a woman and he's your husband. You should know how to get on with him and why can't you have single friends?

[davos]

There is no blanket advice for marriage. Or how to avoid arguments in general.

Everyone is different.

Why do you want to meet 'married friends'?

[BubsAndMoo]

Why would your friends' relationship statuses cause any kind of arguments with your husband?

[LewisAndClark]

Do you mean you want to get some married friends to avoid arguments with your Dh because he doesn't like you having single friends, or am I reading it wrong?

[GinIsIn]

Don't refer to yourself as a girl, for a start?

Congratulations on your marriage!

Nobody can avoid arguments all the time, so don't try - better to have a disagreement and work through it than let things fester in resentment.

[Grannypants1]

Did you get married and that opened a portal into the 50's. I would stick with your lifelong mates. Couple mates are nice but so is having your own life too.

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

FFS, if someone is happy to call themselves a girl, it's their business and no one else's.

[GinIsIn]

Oh, and if you try to replace your single friends because they aren't married, you will end up with no friends - married or single, women are the same species, you know!!

[Sooverthis]

Good luck my single friends have now been whittled down to true friends it was hard but several didn't want to stay friends once I was happily married I'm sick of chasing friendships now I'm only interested in friends who give as well as take.

[Grannypants1]

'single' or your own friends are the ones who stick by you when stuff goes wrong. I remember splitting from my first dp and our couple friends found it awkward and either close sides or bailed. Sad fact.

[BolshierAryaStark]

Friends are friends, the relationship between you & them should evolve & change. If it doesn't they or you are a bit shit.
Shouldn't matter if you're single or married.

[Wondermoomin]

This is an unusual question. Marriage in itself doesn't change the way you relate and "get on with" your husband, nor your friends.

What's the background? Was this an arranged marriage? Did you get to know your husband prior to marrying?

[AuntieStella]

I can think if no reason whatsoever to change your friends upon marriage.

I am assuming that you are however of age, and have not been coerced into a very young marriage (something which might happen to a girl, and a reason why people notice how jarring the phrase 'married girl' is).

If my assumption is wrong, could you post roughly where you are because there may be MNetters in your country who know of support agencies for girls who have been married off.

[hellsbellsmelons]

Eh?
I got married but still went out with my friends.
If it hadn't been for them 15 years later when he cheated then I don't know what I'd have done or how I'd have got through it all.
They have always been and will always be there for me every step of the way.
I don't care if you are married now, you never ever ever drop your friends over a bloke.

What do you argue about?

[TheNaze73]

Under no circumstances, ditch your friends.

Nothing should really change just because you've married. You don't need to start wearing matching cardigans

You're still a person in your own right & time with friends is so important

[happilymarried1]

I am happily married it's not an arranged marriage Ive known my husband for 2 years and lived together after 1 year and now married. I'm just asking for general advice on how to be happily married thinking that something might change in the dynamics of the couple seeing as we are now married. As to my friends I am looking for married friends because my single friends don't get what I'm going through plus I'm moving to a new town away from all my old friends

[Lottapianos]

OP, I'm really concerned by your posts. You say your single friends don't get what you're going through - what are you 'going through'? You've been with your husband for a while before getting married - there's no reason at all why things should change between you. Why do you think they will? You sound very anxious about the future

[Grannypants1]

There is no advice apart from be patient and work together. Each marriage is different. You could have a married friend in an awful marriage who given awful advice. Just look for friends. A good friend will give the best advice. Being married doesn't always mean you have the best advice.

[NerrSnerr]

What don't your friends understand? What is there to go through? Friends are friends whatever their martial status. Have you tried talking to them?

[pinkyredrose]

Are you serious? What exactly is it that youre going through that you cant talk to unmarried friends about? Does your husband have a new set of married friends?

[LewisAndClark]

How to be happily married.

Marry your best friend, somebody you can trust to always have your back and your best interests at heart, that you can trust to be an equal provider and parent (illness and disability notwithstanding). Who makes you laugh and who you can have interesting conversations with.

Somebody who encourages you to pursue your own interests and hobbies, education and career, who shares your morals and beliefs, who has similar life goals and outlook.

Somebody who is kind and loving and respects you. And who you respect.

Those rules won't see you far wrong.

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

Lewis - it doesn't always work like that. Consider:

"Marry your best friend" - unfortunately my best friend doesn't fancy me
"Trust to be an equal provider and parent" - not everyone wants children