Hello from a dad !
Don't know where to start !!!
I have two children, eldest (11) lives with me after court order in 2012 as has various special needs. Youngest (6) lives with their mom as per same court order.
Children are "swapped" over every weekend for 24 hours so parent can spend time with other child, in school holidays has been for 48 hours.
Mom and I find it hard to spend time together yet we were an item as such. Mom doesn't drive, I have to so the above can work.
First Wednesday in August I am one hour from taking eldest away for a holiday (to help eldest get through the school summer holiday which had been a struggle previously) when youngest son Skyped to say they (Mommy and youngest) had stopped at Mommys new boyfriends overnight. Numb and shock wasn't the word.
In the week prior to this and week after youngest was not quite right, I put it down initially to tiredness. In the week after "the announcement" youngest didn't phone as much as Mom was not phoning eldest - no reason given. Mom knows eldest needs routine and waits on her call at the same time every day.
Two days after the bad news I was contacted to say this new bloke was a bully who uses mental abuse. I took it with a pinch of salt at first. However a FB friend who doesn't live far from him saw them together and contacted me, not only confirming the same but saying what his reputation is and what he does. She also put me in touch with two other people (one a happily married lady and the other a bank manager ! They said exactly the same and recalled stories of seeing this man and what he can do). This man is nine years younger than my now ex, doesn't work and has a heck of a temper.
My concern is for my youngest. On one phone call they did make youngest was very upset, ex said because wanted to play, at which point youngest shouted No, it's because I want to be with Daddy. The few phone calls since have been very unlike youngest.When I have taken eldest away before youngest was never like this.
I have tried to pre warn ex as to what I was told. I knew she may say I was being jealous yet it was more everyone else is lying.
I'm not back until next week with eldest. This morning I was told in no uncertain terms by an ex work colleague of this bloke to let my kids nowhere near him as he is a clever bully who mentally abuses women and children as a relationship develops.
Other thing is my ex has a history of mental illness and could be classed as vulnerable.
My head and history says the relationship will blow over (mate reckons it is a mid life crisis summer fling as I'm away but I'm not confident re this for various reasons).
However my prime concern is for my youngest who is more withdrawn, tearful etc already. I think he is now vulnerable too and would rather be proactive than reactive.
What can/ should I do ? I feel helpless for him
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Relationships
Bullying of Son by Ex's New Chap
107 replies
user1470914920 · 16/08/2016 12:08
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