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Inappropriate behaviour....

(65 Posts)
tessie31082 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:21:47

hi, partner been acting weird with niece who was staying with grandparents (his sisters daughter staying three doors down with his mum and dad) on a little break. They have been messaging each other and video calling each other quite a bit when no-one is around (I have access to his ipad) - I've looked on his facebook messenger! He took her to darts one night and stayed out much later than normal and he went to help her get her makeup from his parents yesterday so she could put it on here (the parents/grandparents were already out) before we went out but they were gone 20 mins. Am I just being suspicious and thinking ridiculous thoughts? There are also a few messages that I personally think are odd but someone else might not think anything of it! Do I just keep an eye on things? She does not live close so we do not see her often.
Tessie

PlugUgly Sun 14-Aug-16 20:32:16

Hard to say - You would need to say what the messages were confused

Resilience16 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:34:32

Gut feeling is usually right

Christine88 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:35:56

How old is she? If it's enough to get your suspicions up I'd definitely be keeping an eye on it!!

Missgraeme Sun 14-Aug-16 20:39:00

Has he spent time with her during her whole childhood or just suddenly now?

Buzzardbird Sun 14-Aug-16 20:40:26

Age is important here

Waltermittythesequel Sun 14-Aug-16 20:40:58

How old is she?

What were the messages?

LuluJakey1 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:44:05

How old is she?
How old is he?
Is the behaviour out of how he usually behaves towards her?
Give us an example of the most inappropriate message.

HairySubject Sun 14-Aug-16 20:45:47

I think their ages are a huge factor in this and how close they have been throughout her childhood.

RonaldMcDonald Sun 14-Aug-16 20:48:35

His sister's daughter?
Perhaps she is bored senseless in her grand parents house or she is going through something that he is helping her with?
Are you ordinarily this suspicious? over his relatives? Would you be acting the same if it were a nephew?
I think that there is nothing that you have said here to raise any suspicion.
They speak on FaceTime - he is her uncle and conversing in a way that teens do.
I wouldn't be snooping or invading privacy . I be chatting to her and him and being involved.
If you are really considering that your partner is having an incestuous affair over this 'evidence' I think you have much much greater issues either personally or in your relationship.
If she is vulnerable discuss it openly.

tessie31082 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:50:54

Hi, she is 17 he is 37! We stopped seeing her regularly when they moved away (over 8 years ago). We see her maybe 3-4 times a year. He is a flirty type of guy (which I hate) - he doesn't get it. I think I've attached 2 files?! Like I say, I personally see the language used as odd between an uncle/niece. There are no other messages at the moment but he is always getting messages/notifications on his phone too. I managed to look at his phone last week but it all of a sudden has a code - he's never had a code on his phone since we've been together (nearly 16 years)!

3weeksthankgod Sun 14-Aug-16 20:53:37

Agree with you, inappropriate. Why the video chats?

ProfessorPickles Sun 14-Aug-16 20:54:21

Very weird I'd say, I wouldn't send those sort of messages to my uncle!

YouAreMyRain Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:18

Very inappropriate! WTAF is he doing/thinking? Poor niece!

FellOutOfBed2wice Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:22

It could be something, could be nothing. What's the context of their relationship?

SmellOfPythonInTheMorning Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:24

This looks well dodgy to me.

Rosenwyn1985 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:26

Not to be funny but how are you even asking this? If my partner said "love you gorgeous" to another woman (irrelevant of age, I'd go ballistic). With the age... And relationship.... It's even worse! Sleeze....

Whatdowedo Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:41

I certainly wouldn't send that to my uncle ..very very odd indeed

HairySubject Sun 14-Aug-16 20:56:20

The night gorgeous I would find very inappropriate. I imagine the poor girl is freaked out by her creepy uncle but too polite to say!

coolaschmoola Sun 14-Aug-16 20:58:27

Massively inappropriate.

tessie31082 Sun 14-Aug-16 20:58:55

To be fair if my uncle said that to me I'd be thinking paedophile! However, knowing what he is like I can imagine he thinks nothing of it - but how do I know? Also, I know he watches teen porn too :/ I don't actually mind him watching porn it's the fact it's teenage and he doesn't know I know! So torn about what to do. I think I will wait and see if anything else is said - I hate snooping but I just think it's odd behaviour and language?!

LuluJakey1 Sun 14-Aug-16 21:00:21

She sounds as if she is liking the attention. What is the picture? Is it one of them? If DH was swopping pictures like that with anyone I'd be steaming. It sounds at best inappropriate and at worse something to be very worried about. Trust your instincts.

tessie31082 Sun 14-Aug-16 21:00:58

She is very needy / has an attention seeking personality - never had a real father figure, likes any attention, very naive too.

KinkyAfro Sun 14-Aug-16 21:01:26

It gets worse!

LuluJakey1 Sun 14-Aug-16 21:02:13

If a teenager at school told me this was happening I would report it to social services as concerning behaviour by an older male family member. I don't think you should be hoping nothing else happens. Your DH sounds sleazy. Sorry to be so blunt.

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