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Is this acceptable?

(16 Posts)
notnames Thu 11-Aug-16 09:50:02

Dp will shout at me infront of neighbours and it really embarrasses me. I have told him how it makes me feel but he just says it's his sense of humour but at the time it's not funny and the neighbours don't know he's joking either

Afterthestorm Thu 11-Aug-16 09:59:21

That's just his excuse for disgusting behaviour. No, it is definitely not acceptable to humiliate your partner.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 11-Aug-16 10:07:02

This is nothing to do with a sense of humour. Its about instead wanting power and control over you. He is not interested in how upset this makes you feel either, he really sees you as a non person

He is really not your dear partner at all if he emotionally abuses you like this in front of other people. Such men like this hate women, all of them.

What is he like behind closed doors if he can do this in public?.

Why are you and he together at all now?.

ThatStewie Thu 11-Aug-16 10:09:29

It's not his 'sense of humour'. It's emotional abuse.

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam Thu 11-Aug-16 10:14:01

Emotional abuse, you'd be better off without him. He has no respect for you, you deserve respect.

Missgraeme Thu 11-Aug-16 10:21:33

Next time say thanks dad for embarrassing me in front of the neighbours!

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Thu 11-Aug-16 10:25:35

Of course it isn't reasonable or acceptable. Would be so the same to a male friend? His mother? No.

Cary2012 Thu 11-Aug-16 10:38:08

No, it's not acceptable.

TheNaze73 Thu 11-Aug-16 10:40:05

If he cared for you, he wouldn't do it. He's belittling you

notnames Thu 11-Aug-16 12:00:35

The thing is it's also affecting my relationship with the neighbours as they have started ignoring me I'm not sure why

tipsytrifle Thu 11-Aug-16 12:25:56

The neighbours appear to have taken his lead in belittling you to nothing. His behaviour is not acceptable at all. He finds it humorous to humiliate you in public? Cruel and nasty traits. How is he behind closed doors or in front of DC (if you have them?)

LovePGtipsMonkey Thu 11-Aug-16 12:31:28

IME people who shout or are short-tempered are like this with any family/kids/anyone who annoys them. The difference is, some people stand up for themselves in a serious way (turn around and leave, for example - some outshout them but not to be recommende!), and then the shouter may try hard to control their temper - but if you don't, he'll continue.
I've never heard it excused with a 'sense of humour' though, usually these people admit that they ar just volatile.

LovePGtipsMonkey Thu 11-Aug-16 12:33:36

btw there are plenty of women who shout at kids/their partners - it's not necessarily about belittling, it's often frustration badly expressed or even tiredness, or not being listened to.

ThereIsIron Thu 11-Aug-16 12:38:54

Not acceptable. He's a fuckwit.

SandyY2K Thu 11-Aug-16 12:54:06

It's not acceptable.

Why do you tolerate it?

It's funny to him but not to you. You tell him to stop but he continues. That shows no respect or regard for you.

He also does it because he has no consequences for it.

I always say this, but people treat you how you let them. By staying in the relationship you are allowing it to continue.

I had an Ex who spoke to me like I was a little kid in front of his friends once and I ended the relationship that very day.

I didn't cause a scene in front of his friends, before I got labelled as the crazy girlfriend, but I was fuming inside me.

The neighbours probably feel so sorry for you and find it embarrassing or view you as a weak person and can't be bothered with you.

I got quite irritated with a friend of my DMs (when I was younger and lived at home) ,who repeatedly went back to her physically abusive husband. In fact she never actually left him, but would come crying to our house when he'd beaten her and she refused to call the police.

notnames Thu 11-Aug-16 13:25:38

I think you are right about the neighbours sandy. He doesn't do it when it's just the two of us only when there's an audience

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