Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Were you kicked off Relate - what happened next?

(7 Posts)
overthehillandroundthemountain Mon 08-Aug-16 22:51:08

I'm interested in hearing how you managed things after Relate, in particular if you were told there was no way forwards for your relationship.

Did you find a different counsellor? Did you try to work through it by yourselves? Or did you press on with separation? (I know there is another option - did you ignore everything and carry on as normal?)

If you did the latter, did you finally separate? Please share with me. I am in this position now, and wondering how the story 'went' for everyone else.

Kicked off? Told there was no way forward? Do they do that? Wow.

I never used relate, but I did use an excellent local counsellor. I guess if YOU think genre a way forward then it's worth looking for an alternative m.

AtTheEndofTheRoad Mon 08-Aug-16 23:12:24

Not much help as went to Relate- on my own as DH wouldn't come. Didn't find it helpful. I think it depends on your situation and also if you get the right counsellor.

AtTheEndofTheRoad Mon 08-Aug-16 23:14:00

We are splitting up, but if you don't want to do that I wouldn't say that's the only way based purely on what someone at Relate says.

whirlygirly Mon 08-Aug-16 23:18:47

Well now I think back, we nearly were kicked off, as the counsellor told me Xh was giving off very odd passive aggressive vibes apparently.(!) I went to the final session on my own and by then it had started to come out that he had been going through the motions and there was ow in the wings. We separated about a month later.

overthehillandroundthemountain Wed 10-Aug-16 07:27:12

Thanks for replies:

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged Yes, kicked off as in told there was no way forward, and that the relationship is beyond saving. I think it was couched in terms of neither one of us standing down and therefore it being impossible to work on the marriage. Thank you for suggestion of local counsellor. I was wondering this for myself (rather than to save the marriage).

AtTheEndofTheRoad Thank you. Sorry you didn't find it helpful. Yes, depends on situation etc. Trying another counsellor was suggested by ours but I don't know if it would help...Good to hear the various viewpoints on here.

whirlygirly Interesting. Think that's what has happened with us. We are both as bad as each other. The sessions were shouty. Got increasingly irate. We had a couple of sessions alone but neither knows what the other said. I wonder if he is seeing someone else (would they keep secrets like that?). Urghhh

Thank you - this has given me some insight, at least. The world of Relate seems so hush-hush. Good to have an idea.

Justaboy Wed 10-Aug-16 10:03:43

Went to relate, tried but the marriage was over so the counsellor said.

Said she'd seen it all before and the atmosphere between us was too far gone to change anything for the better.

She concluded that there was nothing wrong as such with either of us or our attitudes but that we'd just grown too far apart.

And now we are divorced I'm a bit lighter in the pocket but i hear that shes happier in her homeland and it sure is less miserable around here;!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now