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Do you think she's interested in seeing her grandchildren?

(14 Posts)
Jess182 Sat 06-Aug-16 15:57:58

Hi all
My children's father is not interested in them at all for numerous reasons (he has never even met the youngest) he claims its my fault and the fact he isn't ready for a baby.

I decided to take it upon myself to message his mum on Facebook. At the time I was feeling low and worried about the future as I myself have about 2 close family members and I'm an only child. In this message I explained everything to her about me and him, the fact we've got two kids and why he doesn't want to see them. I made very clear that I wasn't blameless and we had both done this. I said that I didn't expect her to change his mind, I just wanted to offer her the opportunity of having a relationship with her grand kids and at least if she didn't I would know I tried. I have her my number and included some pictures of them. I sent her another message 3 days after saying "even if you don't want anything to do with them please let me know you've got this message as I will keep thinking it hasn't reached you"

So A week later I get phone calls at 3 times of the day but I was working during this time and couldn't pick up, no messages. The next morning I receive a call and picked it up.

She said "hi someone messaged me yesterday and said something about my son and a baby" I said yes that was me and she said about how she is sorry it took long to get back to me as she rarely checks Facebook, she said how she wasn't working yesterday but I didn't pick up and now she's at work so she said it wasn't convinent to talk but she just wants to let me know she got my message. She said she would phone me back when it was more convinent to talk. I said when would that be and she said she couldn't say. This was yesterday and she hasn't rung yet.

I'm asking because at the time of messaging her I felt desperate and is if I needed it but now I'm not too bothered. I'm changing my number tomorrow as getting a new phone and wondering if I should inform her of my new number or just leave it

PotteringAlong Sat 06-Aug-16 16:01:03

Did she know about you or was it the first she had heard about it?

HughLauriesStubble Sat 06-Aug-16 16:03:54

I would say if she contacted you then she is interested. Some people simplydon't check fb very often.

Jess182 Sat 06-Aug-16 16:04:38

I think it was the first she's heard of it as he's never informed me that he's told her but who knows

Newtothis2017 Sat 06-Aug-16 16:07:52

I would wait a while before changing your number. It has probably come as a shock to her and needs time to sort things out in her head

Jess182 Sat 06-Aug-16 16:31:15

Yeah just unsure why she hasn't called or given me a time frame but hey maybe she's busy, will leave it a few more days

notjusttheirmum Sat 06-Aug-16 16:33:13

She's rung you, she's reaching out
If she didn't know about your DCs this may be a big shock to her and something she needs time to get her head around?
Also if a random woman sent me a message stating the same I would want time to speak to my child to find out what's gone on, she will want to make sure your not lieing before she decides what to do
She was at work yesterday, she will ring back in time, could you keep your old phone switched on for a few days until she does contact you, see what she has to say and take it from there?

Tiggeryoubastard Sat 06-Aug-16 16:34:16

Really? You messaged a week before your number would change? confused

Jess182 Sat 06-Aug-16 16:37:45

I didn't know my number was going to change. My phones almost had it after I dropped it so I've had to get a new one on contract and they won't transfer the number.

I'm going to just message her my new number

I don't get why people can't port their numbers...

>Dontcareifthatsnotthepoint<

Jess182 Sat 06-Aug-16 18:47:33

Because my contract still has 7 months left and they want £250 to cancel it now (which I can't afford) so just intended to keep paying it.

sonjadog Sat 06-Aug-16 18:51:04

Give her time. It was only yesterday that she called. Send her your new number and then relax and see what happens. But if it takes a couple of weeks until you hear from her, then don´t stress about it.

LetsSplashMummy Sat 06-Aug-16 18:52:42

I think she is probably trying to sort out how to broach this with her son, waiting to hear back from him so she doesn't step on his toes or cause a problem. I think she deserves a little longer to get her head round it and there is a chance he will be saying something a bit different. I think you should give her your new number, in an "dear everyone, here is my new number" way that doesn't look like special treatment for her (she might feel a bit pressured).

Gottagetmoving Sat 06-Aug-16 18:55:47

Do keep contact if you can for your children's sake. They have a right to a relationship with their grandmother if she is willing.

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