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Dreams of ex

(3 Posts)
deardolly Fri 05-Aug-16 08:24:31

I had a boyfriend for about two years, about 10 years ago (when I was a teenager!). It was total puppy love, we didn't have sex, we just spent lots of time together. We stayed in touch a while after we parted ways, and then lost touch for a couple of years. I missed him horribly, took the break up really badly and mooned over him for years. Since then, we have both had other boyfriends and girlfriends, and now I'm married with 1 DS.

A handful of times in that time he's got back in touch, seemingly as a friend and I've been happy to be his friend as we were so close when we were young. Every time he's got back in touch, after a while he ends up telling me he's still in love with me. Then we stop talking again for a couple of years and the cycle starts again.

However then last year, after I got married the year before and I was pregnant, he got in touch again professing undying love for me. I assumed he was over it all as he had a girlfriend. He then finished with the girlfriend. I told him that I wasn't interested as I was married and had a baby on the way so I've blocked his number, Facebook etc and we can't get back in touch now. However for years after we broke up I had recurring dreams of getting back together. These disappeared a while after I met now DH. But now they're back with a vengeance. I love my DH and DS but I don't know how to cope with the dreams and thoughts of ex. I feel like I have a double life, wife and mother by day but with my ex at night. I feel like this is unfaithful to DH, although I am not even in touch with the ex.

CwtchyQ Fri 05-Aug-16 08:32:26

I have dreams of my ex sometimes; same sort of thing, he was my first love etc etc there's some unfinished business but in the cold light of day, I'm more than happy to leave it unfinished.

I think he's just regressing a bit if you will, probably a little lost in his own life, and really if he had any respect for you he would not get in touch and say things like that. It's silly.

Don't worry about the dreams. The more you think about it - and there's not really an 'it' to think about - the more often he'll be lingering in your subconcious. You're not living a double life smile let it be.

deardolly Fri 05-Aug-16 08:45:13

That first paragraph is exactly correct. First love, unfinished business. It's just that its every single night and I have a stark sense of disappointment when I wake and it's not real. Thanks for your reply smile

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