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Child contact in Scotland

(4 Posts)
legalmum1 Thu 04-Aug-16 22:12:25

Have posted in legal but putting here for traffic. Regular user but have NC'd for this.

For background, my XP and I split almost 3yrs ago when my DS was a year old. He was emotionally/sexually abusive throughout our relationship and I left him after a violent outburst from him - no charges were ever brought as there was insufficient evidence for the police to take it further. He had sporadic contact with our DS, always facilitated by me and always in my home, for a year afterwards however this stopped after a year when he threatened to take DS out the country so I'd never see him again after I refused to have sex with him. He saw DS a further 3 times in the 6 months after that in a supervised context with childminder but hasn't seen him for well over a year now. No maintenance has been paid as he has managed to avoid the CSA by quitting his job and they are now looking to deduct it from his fraudulently claimed benefits. DS has received no birthday/christmas presents from him for 2yrs and he is a complete stranger to him. I don't even know where XP lives.

Move forward to now. I am remarried and due DC2 next month. DS is a happy, settled child and is doted on by my DH who treats him as his own. I have sought legal advice after XP applied for (and was granted) legal aid in January, however my solicitor has advised to do nothing and see if he bothers taking things further. Today I received notification from my solicitor that he has made an application to court for contact and I am an utter wreck. I just cannot imagine handing my DS over to this monster of a man who has had virtually nothing to do with him, ruined the first year of his life and has made threats to disappear permanently with him. Rightly or wrongly, DS chooses to call my DH dad and for the past almost 2yrs myself, DH and DS have been a family unit whilst XP had no involvement. I am unsure when the first court hearing will be but have a meeting with my solicitor on Monday to discuss how to proceed. I am already stressing about having to cut my maternity leave short as we simply cannot afford ££££s in legal fees while I'm not working.

XP is listed on DS's birth certificate. Is it a certainty he will get contact? And how much? If anyone has any experiences of how lengthy cases like this in Scotland can be I'd really appreciate some experiences.

Zumbarunswim Fri 05-Aug-16 13:57:45

My friend had this in Scotland. It was back and forth for a while as he applied for legal aid, didn't get it then appealed and got it. He got contact through a contact centre in the end. At some point he was told to start paying child maintenance. It did take maybe 2 years to come to this. Her son was seen by a psychologist who did a report. Her ex had been violent to her and highly manipulative and controlling but she hadn't pressed charges so this wasn't used in court. angry

legalmum1 Sat 06-Aug-16 08:24:39

Thanks for your reply Zumba. This is what I'm scared of.

Zumbarunswim Sat 06-Aug-16 10:34:19

Yeh it's been really shitty and she's had to spend a lot of money. I could potentially put her in contact with you to explain it better if you want? Pm me if so and I'll ask her. Hope things go better for you. sad

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