Hey all;
I have a 6 year old DS and I was in a relationship with his dad ( well just recently broken up with him).
DS dad was very abusive towards me, but touch wood, he hasn't been physically abusive towards me for two years. Though he still is emotionally abusive and unpredictable.
The Social services and I concluded that the dad and DS should have contact time three times a month and he should pick up DS from my house. Social services are not involved anymore; but I would like to continue this contact arrangement.
Though there's an issue.
DS dad doesn't want to pick up DS from my house as every time he does; my neighbour always calls the police on him. To be honest; I don't really blame the neighbour, I don't know if she has some kind of motive ( as we didn't get on in the past). But I think the reason why she calls the police because in the past, whenever DS dad was at my house; the neighbours could hear him beating the crap out of me, cursing me and just being very disruptive.
Anyway; like I've said before DS dad hasn't been physically abusive for two years, but still is intimidating, emotionally abusive and unpredictable when angry. The last time the neighbour called the police was when DS dad brought DS back to my home; and wanted to talk to me ( he alwaaaaays does this when bringing DS back home); I don't really want to talk to him as this always leads to an argument; and DS dad brought up something (months ago) which made him upset and wanted to talk to me about it (which obviously leads to an argument). DS wasn't shouting or anything, but he was becoming a bit hot headed and was being rude to me. I think the neighbour heard this and then thats why she called the police. Though from what the police told me; they said the person (obviously our neighbour ) said she heard shouting, arguing. Though I always keep quiet when DS dad is rude to me so I'm not sure if she was confused.
But anyway; DS dad has refused to come to my house to pick up DS. Instead he wants me to drop DS to his. This is a big no no, as one I'm more at risk when I see him in public; two; DS dad would then try to persuade me to talk to himwhich leads to him getting angry and I don't like DS witnessing that. I prefer for him to pick up DS from my home; as I live with my siblings and I feel more safer. I told DS dad that if he doesn't like coming to pick up DS cause of my neighbour. Well DS is old enough to go downstairs and wait for you by the communal doorobviously within earshot( we only live two doors down) . I also told DS dad that when he brings DS back to my house that he shouldn't talk to me. Instead he should just bring DS back home and just go back to his home; not wait around trying to get a conversation out with me (which leads to anger- argument then abuse).
DS dad has just sent me a couple of text messages now saying "I should fuck off, I'm taking the piss, I don't want DS to see him".
Am I doing the right thing in all this? It's just so difficult. Should I just bring DS by his dads?
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AIBU or is EX Abusive DP? Regarding contact with DS
33 replies
notgivingin789 · 30/07/2016 14:45
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