Background: 2 DCs. With DH since we were young. We both have good careers and earn about the same. Nobody's fault but mine, I know, but I've been unhappy for years. We have no interests in common, no friends in common and no sex life. Our life is surface-comfortable and surface-fine but I don't love him any more, and haven't for some time. I'm not bitter or vengeful, there's nobody else, I wish him nothing but good things, but we're not right and I need to start the conversation. I have had counselling (alone) and I am certain I want to end the relationship and do not want to continue in it.
But I am awful at this - such a people pleaser, I find conflict so scary (which I know people who are OK with conflict will find pathetic, but it's just how some of us are wired). So I need to finally be brave now. I'd really appreciate help to find the words.
Oh and I'm terrified of my parents' reaction. But that's secondary.
"I know this is going to be difficult, but I haven't been happy in our relationship for a long time..."
Where do I go from here? I need to keep it about me and my feelings, I don't want to even hint at blaming him because it's not remotely his fault. He's constant and steady and hasn't changed a bit, really - it's me. I had doubts on the wedding day, and should never have married him. It's only counselling that has clarified that for me.
I want us to - eventually - be able to be friendly co-parents. So if anyone has any wisdom for me, I'd be so grateful.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I've procrastinated long enough. Help me start the conversation?
TimeToDoIt · 30/07/2016 11:50
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