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He's a tw@tbag right?

(108 Posts)
throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 13:50:32

Basically my H is just finishing his masters and has been going around like a bear with a sore head moaning how busy he is. Yesterday I left the house at 8am to drop our 14mo off at his nan's to allow H to work without distraction and I nipped back home because I'd forgotten something and he'd gone back to bed. I asked what he was doing when he's already passed the deadline and he said he was ill. Irritating. I said irrespective of this, he needed to be doing his work or he'd not pass I.e take some pills and crack on. I mean, we all have to at times don't we? He went crazy and called me thick, selfish and childish and proceeded to smash up his laptop, pushing me out the way and smashed some crockery etc.Oh and I said I hope he wouldn't ever scream at our son in that manner and he said he would if HE needed it! Urgh. I hate bullies.Of course today he says that his outburst was my fault for not asking him if he was ok when he was back in bed. That is messed up thinking at its best. I've spent the last 14 months looking after our LO singlehanded to allow him to do his masters and that's what I get? Nope. Not doing it anymore. Rant over!

LineyReborn Fri 29-Jul-16 13:54:30

I presume he's checked out of his Master's dissertation as well as your relationship?

What are you going to do? He sounds unhinged and horrible to be with.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 13:56:51

You're spot on. He's checked out of everything and is off gigging at some crappy festival this weekend.

Costacoffeeplease Fri 29-Jul-16 13:57:36

So what's your next step? Are you mortgaged/rented? In whose name?

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 13:57:46

I've said until he realises what he is doing then there's no future and as there's no chance of that - we need to part. Without being dicks about it.

adora1 Fri 29-Jul-16 13:58:17

Sounds like he has the life of riley and nothing you do is good enough, I'd set him free OP and get on with being a good person.

toadgirl Fri 29-Jul-16 13:58:51

What's his course in? He needs a degree in common sense and a new attitude.

I've no doubt it's a stressful business, but seriously there is no need for physical and emotional abuse like that.

You are right that you would not want your son subjected to that behaviour.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 13:59:45

Mortgaged in both names unfortunately so not sure of what next. I'm going out for drinks with one of my best friends tonight. Of course he's accused me of being likely to cheat tonight. As if. I've got a young son, my mum is babysitting and I'm not a big fan of men right now thanks!!

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:01:03

Oh and let's see if he hijacks this thread and posts his side on it like he did last time. I mean, really!

eloelo Fri 29-Jul-16 14:01:20

Yep you are right. He just sees his side of things. He is abusive too for shouting and smashing things.

KatharinaRosalie Fri 29-Jul-16 14:03:39

Yes he's a twat and this kind of behaviour is unacceptable.
Besides that, he seems to be healthy enough to go to the crappy festival, but is too ill to sit and write?

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:05:57

This is great to read as I'm rubbish at articulating my points to him.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:06:51

He will of course say he's doing the festival to earn £££ for us to go on holiday so I should be pleased...

Costacoffeeplease Fri 29-Jul-16 14:08:07

So this isn't the first time? I'd ask him to leave and if he refuses, call the police. Show them the smashed laptop and tell them you're frightened for your safety

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:09:58

Not the first time at all. Not by a long chalk.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:11:02

I've always been to fearful to end it due to the fear of loneliness - I don't have many friends etc but tbh the fear of staying is worse now due to our son

LineyReborn Fri 29-Jul-16 14:13:37

He's hijacked a previous thread of yours? shock

Do you have a new username now?

eloelo Fri 29-Jul-16 14:14:24

Check out womanised 08082000247. Call the helpline and ask them what they think of his behaviour. Have a few examples ready. It might be enlightening!

FunnyTummy Fri 29-Jul-16 14:14:55

My ex had aggressive outbursts and smashed stuff. doesn't it make them instantly unattractive? he did it a few times and my feelings for him evaporated.

Different in the way that I don't have kids, but you sound strong and that you know your worth xxx

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:14:57

Yes he has. The posters tore him to pieces tbh for it. I do have a new username now though.

tigermoll Fri 29-Jul-16 14:15:36

You can be just as lonely in a relationship as single. Plus if you're single, there is the prospect of meeting someone better.

Also, having an abusive arse of a partner makes it harder to have friends, and it doesn't sound as if he's much help with your son anyway.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:17:07

This is my first ever weekend without him and I'm so relieved to have it. I'm not upset about the relationship break down - just resigned to the fact that he believes he's done nothing out of the ordinary.

throneofgames Fri 29-Jul-16 14:18:48

Oh he also keeps going on about how he needs a wife who makes him laugh, understands him etc. Please! Go ahead! Has anyone else here been subjected to this ridiculous line of thought?

adora1 Fri 29-Jul-16 14:21:49

You really need to stop carrying him, I know lots of women who have done masters and still cared for their family, and worked!

He's violent and selfish.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Fri 29-Jul-16 14:22:23

How did he enhance your life before DS? He sounds like he wants to cut loose.

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