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Is pure evil and selfish?

(38 Posts)
sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 20:55:45

So me and my husband have always had problems mainly because I don't trust him after him Cheating on me and lying. Also because he's always been a but selfish. For the past two nights he's gone to the gym from 20:00 till midnight. He has had his own time to himself whilst I was left with our 4 girls and 7 week old baby. Tonight I thought he would be home with me, I wanted a bath and that coz it's hard when he's not here with the baby, so thought he could entertain baby whilst I have a bath but just after tea he went to get electric and come back posted it through the letter box didn't even come in ran to his car and drove off. I actually thought he was leaving me for good, made me panic that he was about to leave me a single mum so I rang him and he was laughing saying he's going out for a few drinks and he'll be back later. He actually thought it was funny. I asked him why he lied coz I was suspicious of there he was Going ( coz of previous Cheating) and he said he lied coz he didn't want me to disprove about him going out tonight. He said he will not answer any of my calls tonight. I am really struggling at the moment, I never get out or so anything, this is the third night I'm alone. I think him doing what he's done is evil. I didn't even know he was planning to go out or else I could have made plans for me to at least have something nice tonight. He doesn't even compromise, he gets what he wants. Well there is no chance I'll get a bath tonight. I've had the kids all week and he gets all the rewards. He's working all weekend too so ive got the kids all weekend
I actually hate him

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 20:58:59

He was laughing actually found it funny
I feel so hurt

TheoriginalLEM Thu 28-Jul-16 21:02:20

he is vile - bolt the soor and go to bed.

MrsCookieMonster78 Thu 28-Jul-16 21:02:33

He's an asshole who will never change, why are you with him? You would be better off being a single mum, sounds like you pretty much are already.
Do you have any friends or family that can help you with the kids so you can get a break?

facebookrecruit Thu 28-Jul-16 21:05:54

Have my very first LTB flowers
You and your DC deserve better he is a twat

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 21:06:45

I've been an idiot stay off with him all rhos theme. I must be an idiot. I stayed coz i didn't want to end up like my mum, a single mum and didn't want my kids coming from a. 'Broken home' like I did

I have no friends as I don't get a chance to meet them and keep up friendships
I don't have much family apart from my mum sister and grandparents

Joysmum Thu 28-Jul-16 21:13:16

Do you honestly think being a single mum is worse than your current situation? My single friends don't!

Many have since found true love from a person truly deserving of them. The rest are proudly self reliant and happier for not having someone who lets them down and doesn't respect their needs.

loveyoutothemoon Thu 28-Jul-16 21:13:25

4 hours at the gym?

Groovee Thu 28-Jul-16 21:18:08

You deserve better. Don't stay with him for the kids. They'll pick up on when they are older.

Making the step to being a single mum seems scary but it would give you a better life without all the stress x

LesisMiserable Thu 28-Jul-16 21:18:42

Well as you said youve always had problems so more fool you if you stay with him , you're already a single mother you may as well make it official and lose the knob the alternative is being a martyr for the rest of your existence or until he leaves you because you're spineless enough to take it. Lock the front door and get shut1

43percentburnt Thu 28-Jul-16 21:38:20

Who is on the mortgage/tenancy agreement?
Can you go on entitled to and work out what you would receive if you split up?
Then go onto the cms calculator.

If you split up you may find you have more time to yourself either because a) he chooses to have them overnight to reduce his maintenance or b) the extra maintenance (from him not having them overnight) will enable you to pay for a baby sitter.

What joy is this man bringing to your life? If the answer is little, then you need to ask yourself why you are wasting more of your precious life on him.

Single parent vs letting my girls see me be treated this way - Definately single parent.

Amelie10 Thu 28-Jul-16 21:39:59

You've always had problems but went on to have 5 children with him? What will it take for you to wake up. Do you really think bringing up your children in this situation is better than being a single parent? You can call him evil, selfish or any name you want but it's still you who is choosing to stay with him.

KindDogsTail Thu 28-Jul-16 21:51:09

This is very difficult for you. As another poster said, you are already as good as single and he is very unpleasant. You will be better off without him.
I hope someone else here will advise who about how you can find out information about your rights.

Also, perhaps ask the GP about getting some counselling, as perhaps bad things have happened to you in the past that have made you inclined to put up with him belittling you.

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 21:52:42

I just feel really hurt

He knows my confidence is low so he's took advantage of it

He's made me feel I can't cope without him and that I won't get anyone else. I can't cope ending cheated on again, it hurts To much but he probably will tonight
I can't stay with him after this though, no way this is too much

PsychedelicSheep Thu 28-Jul-16 22:02:01

Pure evil might be a bit OTT but he sounds like a crappy partner and father. He's unlikely to change now after 5 kids, so maybe you'd be better off without him? Hard yes but doable.

winkywinkola Thu 28-Jul-16 22:10:12

What a horrible man.

You are your dcs rock. You are the one they need. You are who they will always turn to.

Not some plank who runs off whenever he feels like it.

I'm not surprised you feel hurt. It's a crappy way to behave. Really shit.

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 22:37:26

What makes it worse is when he is at home he's on his phone or falls asleep be doesn't actually spend time with me

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 22:49:06

This morning be just started to burst out laughing for no reason I asked him why he was laughing
He said oh nothing. Then when I rang him
This morning he said he was laughing coz he knew he was planning to just walk out later and go out he really is vile

sammyjayneex Thu 28-Jul-16 22:49:35

I meant when I rang him tonight

nooofthenoodle Fri 29-Jul-16 01:14:10

What a horrible person he is. He has no idea what it means to be a partner and a good parent. You would be better off on your own. He could have the kids even one night a week at least you would get a break.
Sorry your going through this op. I'm a single parent and i can say hand on heart it's hard work but it's so much easier knowing it's all on you every day than expecting help and support that never seems to turn up. You deserve so much more than this disrespect he is showing you. Who does he think he is? He has 5 kids he should be at home I'm so sorry x

glitterwhip Fri 29-Jul-16 01:21:10

How horrible for you...I agree with previous posters you'd be better off on your own
I suspect that you are currently doing most of the parenting single handedly anyway!

You and your little ones deserve better

Cabrinha Fri 29-Jul-16 11:49:18

He is the same every time you post about him lovey. Is it going to be different for you this time, now the arsehole has progressed to actually taunting you about leaving you?

Your kids already live in a broken home.

Why not give them a nice new fixed home, with a single parent who is stable, happy, and loves them?

I'm on my own with a child - nothing broken about us. The only thing broken with you, is your need to stay with this fuckwit of an excuse for a man.

adora1 Fri 29-Jul-16 11:56:55

Please get rid of this complete arsehole, you will be better of emotionally and financially probably cos he sounds completely devoid of any feelings for you or his family, he's just taking the piss.

Where is your family?

Costacoffeeplease Fri 29-Jul-16 11:58:12

You've posted about him so many times - it doesn't get better, it's just worse and worse. He's leaving you no option really, you have to get away from him asap

AnyFucker Fri 29-Jul-16 12:00:09

What an absolute cunt

You are your kids are better off without him in your lives. Single parenthood sill be a breeze compared to being treated with this level of contempt.

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