I'm trying, I really am, to get on with things but everytime I feel like I get somewhere, I get knocked back down. Ex has gone public with his new relationship, though seemed to go to quite ridiculous lengths to conceal it from certain people like a number of mutual friends or people he knows that are close to me, and it's just thrown me, though I knew it was likely happening for some time. He has completely erased me and our relationship from his life and it's like the only proof that it or he ever existed are the painful memories and difficulties that I'm left with everyday. I just don't understand how this is happening while I'm pregnant with a baby that we planned at his suggestion, and with someone he hasn't even known for longer than six months. What makes it worse is that people are so supportive of him and his decision, especially as he has demonised me so much and, while it may not matter right now, I'm just absolutely distraught that there's a great possibility I'll have to deal with all of this in a few months, based on him sticking true to his word and being involved although I don't know how likely it is, and that's tough in itself. I don't want to have to deal with some other woman playing a role in my child's life (who the hell gets involved with someone who has a baby on the way anyway?!) I don't want my child to have a part time dad at best, I don't want to deal with people telling me he's done nothing wrong by leaving me and starting a new relationship as it doesn't affect him being a dad and that I need to get over it and let him be involved etc, but it bloody does affect things, it affects everything!
Argh, I just feel like things are never going to get better, even when my baby is here. I'm 25, I don't want to be living at my parents house or relying on them to protect me or anything like that, not when it's meant to be different. I feel like I'm responsible for bringing my child into this situation, that I should have been a better partner cos I know for a fact there are plenty of things I could have done better regardless of this situation, and I just can't shake it all from my head.
If anyone has any nice stories about facing horrible situations like this and coming out the other side, please share them, or any other things that might help =(
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Someone tells me it gets better.
11 replies
loulou1626 · 28/07/2016 19:05
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