Dh and I were discussing something to do with the children and it descended into another conversation where he said that I had changed. That I had become less happy, less laughing, more angry as if everyone was out to get me and my children. Perhaps I have. I explained that it was years of being ground down of people not listening. Of running from one thing to another. The conversation went through how I thought I was unappreciated, how if I had changed he would still be there anyway, was it motherhood that had changed me? He just wanted the happy me back. I said I had tried, gave him date night cards, he said it was a (can't remember the exact phrasing) thing i did then forgot about, I said no I had made music playlists, food menus, all he had to do was choose the dates but he never did. I did it that way so it wouldn't clash with his sport on TV etc. I reminded him he never did it. That was 18 months ago so I wasn't a priority. He said we needed to spend time together, I said I tried. Then it got on to how he didn't pull his weight during the week, he said he did last week, I said I wouldn't stress about it once it became a consistent thing, he said I stressed about the little things. I am not eloquent at all and I said but the little things he does undermine me. We had a conversation about his jacket hanging on the door. I worry the kids will make marks on it, it will fall off etc and he agreed. So I out a little note there to helpfully remind him, it was a joke this, it had hearts on it. He still hangs his jacket there. I pointed out tonight that him doing that, undermines me in a little chip chip chip way to the kids. That's why they think they can not listen to me. Like doing the dishes on the nights I work. Ok yes he did them last week, but it is never consistent. And he said small things like that don't matter. I said they do, because I feel resentment that I have to do them int he morning. Chip chip chip. He said it didn't. I said do you not see how the small things chip away at the bigger picture. These are microcosms but once you have four of five of them then they become an issue. I Sen thi the article linked on here about how the guys wife divorced him because of the coffee cups. I sent I to him so it could explain in a way that I couldn't. I tried to explain it wasn't a threat, but he threw it back at me, not getting the point of what I was trying to say and locked me out of the area we go for a fag, telling me to walk away, even as I was trying to explain that it was just the wording I was looking for, not a divorce about how the small things DO matter. No idea if he has read it, he just read the link title and went mad and shouted at me are you fucking kidding? . Now I am just so upset.
I know this is jumbled and doesn't make sense. I just needed to get it all out.
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Is anyone up? just need to talk.
18 replies
CoffeeCupsByTheSink · 28/07/2016 01:01
OP posts:
CoffeeCupsByTheSink ·
28/07/2016 01:10
Ok so he read it. He thinks it was written by someone who is uneducated and has no emotional intelligence. Doesn't see the relevance. Oh, and he thinks it was written by a woman! Despite it being a guys blog 
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