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can you have a happy marriage without kissing?

(84 Posts)
Mrstumbletap Tue 26-Jul-16 21:13:57

Hi,

Just interested in the kissing going on in your relationships, DH and I kiss very differently and no matter the conversations we have had about it we just like to kiss differently, and naturally want to go back to the style we want. I am wondering, other than a peck on the lips or a longer sort of French kiss (is that what it's called without tongues?) could we just basically abandon snogging and still have a great intimate relationship and sex life?

Do any of you not kiss and things are still good? Have any of you loved your DH but just not been a fan of the way you kiss?

BeeMyBaby Tue 26-Jul-16 21:24:39

How long have you been together? For the first few years I was a bit confused with how DH kissed but after 9 years together we've definitely found common ground

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Tue 26-Jul-16 21:25:56

No, I don't believe that you can.

Cheerybigbottom Tue 26-Jul-16 21:34:20

Actually, DH and I are not big kissers. We kiss goodbye etc, kiss on the head in passing and stuff, but in the bedroom it's not a big part of stuff. I never realised before.

The rest of the bedroom stuff is tiptop! So it can't matter all that much unless it's very important to you?

maras2 Tue 26-Jul-16 22:11:30

I couldn't go kissles.DH and I have been together for 48 years,married for 41 and we've snogged/kissed every day apart from his one week away with his dad in 1986.Gosh,that was a tough week,no mobile phones and any phone connection to the USSR was difficult to say the least.Hope it works ok for you though.It'd be a shame for a marriage to fail on something like this.Good luck mrstumbletap.

Mrstumbletap Tue 26-Jul-16 22:13:56

To be honest no I don't think it's massively important, I like cuddling and being affectionate but I think I could live without it. We have been together nearly 10 years and have DC.

maras2 Tue 26-Jul-16 22:15:50

I must be going bloody daft.DH has just reminded me about the 4 years further education I did back in the early 1970's.We only saw each other for 4 days a week.Ah,but we made up for it eventually. smile

DrinkFeckArseGirls Tue 26-Jul-16 22:19:23

French kissing is with tongues. You've been married for 10 years, why has it come up now?

AGruffaloCrumble Tue 26-Jul-16 22:24:22

I don't do kissing as I have a germ phobia. If we do kiss it is a big deal. DP loves kissing and I wish I could give him more but I can't. We are intimate in lots of other ways. Cuddling, holding hands, lots and lots of marital relations grin so yes, I think you can be.

Cabrinha Tue 26-Jul-16 22:29:11

I saw an internet link a while ago (so must be fact!) that said plenty (forget %!) of human cultures don't kiss. Which surprised me - I thought it was universal and instinctive.
I would really miss snogging... but as long as both couples are happy I don't see that it would have to be an issue! Odd to come up so far into marriage though?

Okkitokkiunga Tue 26-Jul-16 22:31:36

DH and I been married for 11 years, together for 17. He doesn't like kissing. We do the hello and goodbye peck and a little snog during bedroom antics. That's it and I have never thought about it till now.

meowli Tue 26-Jul-16 22:37:13

bedroom antics.

That's a much better euphemism than dtd grin

boolifooli Tue 26-Jul-16 22:38:31

As with any preferences within a relationship it comes down to if you feel you physically connect with your partner regardless of the differences in what you both need/want.

Mrstumbletap Thu 28-Jul-16 11:46:43

I suppose early stages of the relationship the chemicals are so strong you just go with the flow, and overlook little things, or just say things in jest (like that was a slobbery one ha ha) then engagement, marriage, pregnancy, baby, toddler, everything seems so busy, something like kissing seems so little when there is so much going on.

But then life calms down and I have been thinking recently his way of kissing has never been a toe curler for me, but how important is that? Some of you have said it isn't which is reassuring.

TheNaze73 Thu 28-Jul-16 16:45:41

I think intimacy, sex & proper kissing are so important, they're 3 things that differentiate a relationship from a brilliant friendship. Properly not articulated that particularly well but, I know what I mean confused

AGruffaloCrumble Thu 28-Jul-16 17:51:48

Naze
I have 2 out of 3 of those and we are both more than content. We hold hands, we cuddle, we have wonderful sex. We just don't kiss.

TheNaze73 Thu 28-Jul-16 18:47:19

That's fair enough, guess we're all different smile

Mrstumbletap Thu 28-Jul-16 21:37:09

Yeah that must be just an opinion surely, there must be couples that kiss but don't hold hands, or kiss and hold hands but don't cuddle.

Mrstumbletap Thu 28-Jul-16 21:38:15

Agruffalocrumble (love the name by the way) can I ask why you don't, is it the same as me?

museumum Thu 28-Jul-16 21:42:14

I have braces and am not enjoying kissing. I think we're OK with it. It's a bit odd not to but we are surviving. We can kiss each other's skin, just not mouth on mouth.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Thu 28-Jul-16 21:44:34

Another crumble here, so don't get us muddled up!

My DP's kisses make me swoon, in fact I drunkenly told him I loved him on our first date blush as I was so taken aback by his kissing.

However, I also really like it when he kisses really 'badly' - too much tongue, clashing teeth etc!! It's weird, but I think it's the absolute passion of it that gets to me. I like to think I have spoiled him for anyone that may come after me grin - maybe that's what happened to your DH?!

When he has had a cold sore in the past and kissing has been off the menu, I have found it difficult to get into sex, so I know that I couldn't live without kisses. I don't think I could be happy without kissing, any more than I could do without cuddles.

AGruffaloCrumble Thu 28-Jul-16 23:17:09

Mrstumble
I don't enjoy kissing because I have a germ phobia/mild to moderate OCD. DP also favours a different kissing style to me anyway and is a bit wet sometimes which aggravates the OCD so we just don't really. I like closed mouth dry kissing, he licks his lips automatically before he kisses me. It just doesn't work most of the time. Sometimes we will during sex but I always initiate it as he knows it will make me uncomfortable if he forces it on me. Actually, on a side note we do kiss other places like necks and body parts.

Tagetes Fri 29-Jul-16 13:44:33

On one of Prof Cox's recent programmes there was a segment about Masai men spending months apart from their families taking cattle to water in the dry season. They were filmed returning home after the rains came. A husband and wife smiled broad smiles at each other and briefly touched hands. The husband then hugged the children. It may have been in the editing but there was no kissing involved. It was nonetheless moving and very touching smile

Mrstumbletap Fri 29-Jul-16 14:24:10

Ah I wish DH's kisses did make me swoon, I'm very jealous! But I usually just end up with a wet face and bit freaked out that he just accidentally licked my teeth!

MiaowJario Fri 29-Jul-16 14:29:21

For me it is essential, but each to their own.

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