Can't bear to leave my little girl

[Ahistorygirl]

I've been with my husband over 15 years and we have a baby girl who's just coming up to a year old. To cut a long story short he's told me he's not sure he loves me anymore or that our relationship is working. Although we've had arguments this has come out of the blue and I'm devastated for my me and my daughter. We're still talking through this and if we can save the relationship.

If he just left us both never to return I could probably handle it but he's a very hands on dad devoted to his daughter and he wants to split our time with her - which I just can't bear the thought of and is killing me. What's the norm with a baby so little?

Ps I've name changed

[Jayfee]

Try to get him to go to relate with you? I think 15 years of marriage is worth taking your time (both) to see if it can work better

[Ahistorygirl]

We are going to do that jayfee but I just want to know if the worst comes to the worst is only spending 50% of my time with my 1 year old normal or acceptable? It just feels so awful

[bluebell34567]

when they are so young they may give the custody to mother.
you can ask about this in the legal section of mumsnet.

[TeaBelle]

50-50 would be pretty rare at such a young age but he would likely be awarded significant contact (at least 2 nights per week) imo

[Ahistorygirl]

I can't even comprehend how it would work. We don't pick her up from nursery till 6 and she's in bed by 7. Id never see her.

Although we'd have to both move both house and area too (couldn't afford here separately). It's all so awful

[TeaBelle]

In the kindest possible way, you need to switch your thinking. Any court order will be centered around what is best for the child, not the parents. And for the majority of children that means spending quality time with both parents. If you want to avoid a judge imposing something on you, then come up with some workable fair plans to present to ex and hope that you can come to a sensible compromise.