Advice plz

[lgalla1985]

Hi so i need some advice from an outsiders perspective. I have been with my current bf for almost 10 years we have two sons together 6 and 4.
Over the past few years things have become more and more strained between us through one thing or another things have never become violent between ourselves however on atleast 2 occassions over the past year it has gotten to the point where i have asked him to leave however on both occasions i have asked him to come back.

For background -
I spend alot of time with my mum and sisters which often causes most of the arguments especially if i have been out most of the day at work or at uni.

I often end up watching my neices and nephew after uni or work or collectimg my mums medication.

We argue about unnecessary thing such as who does more about the house.

He does not have a job and appears to have no intention of getting one as during the most recent argument when i brought this up i was informed that if he was to get one he would get one and move out.

He also spends alot of time speaking to his previous gf through messages when i asked him about this i was told that they were just friends as she is married and that there was nothing going on however i read there messages and they domt appear to be just friendly txts to me.

He spends alot of time with the kids as he watches them while i am at work. I would never deny that he is a good dad or that he has supported me through alot of stuff such as my ill health, my gran passing away and my mum being put into a mental health facility for a while. I dont know what to do i know that i do love him. I just dont know how to ask what he wants or if he still wants to be with me. What do i do?

[bluebell34567]

wouldn't you think going to a relate councillor.
there are good points about your relationship but there are alarming things like if he has job he would leave home or talking to ex. I don't think he is telling the truth about him and his ex.

[Missgraeme]

In my mind he is using u for free board and lodgings. And using his ex for sex.

[coco1810]

Let him find a job and move out, simple!

[TinySalmon]

He doesn't work and threatens you that he will leave when/if he gets a job ?

Let him get a job, move out, pay child support. He can then shag his ex and you can find someone you deserve.

[lgalla1985]

At this point i actually just want him to atleast have the decency of having a completely open and honest conversation as to where we actually stand. I still love him but if its over i would rather have this knowlege rather than living this way.

Texting his ex thing is probably the hugest issue which i have as to be honest i really cannot stand the sight of my ex due to him openly cheating on several occasions which i think may be in the back ofy mind with bf txting his ex gf.

[CalleighDoodle]

He is a freeloading dick. Throw him out.