I've named changed as this might out me. But I'm desperately after some thoughts on my marriage. I'll try and lay out the facts in the least boring way possible without drip feeding.
- Been married to OH 10 years (I'm female if relevant)
- 2 young DS age 1 and 3
We both work full time, and I'm the main income earner. He earns around 19k and I earn about double. So his wage doesn't cover childcare costs. We tried him staying at home with the kids but it was a disaster. He now has a job he likes. I would love to work part time but can't.
He has history of getting into debt and has had to be bailed out a few times. Cannot manage money. We have separate accounts and I manage mortgage etc. He gives me money each month towards this. He has no clue what we pay in mortgage etc, shows no interest. I manage all financial affairs.
He us crap with housework. Does some with nagging but shoddy. I feel like I'm always nagging.
House is a shithole. Been asking him to do DIY for ages but he doesn't. Says he will but never gets round to it. I'm doing it as much as I can now but can't do everything.
Had sex twice in 3/4 years. Kids were a bloody miracle.
I'm exhausted. And starting to realise he won't change. He is a great dad to the boys. And makes me laugh.
But how do I leave? He won't leave. I have no family to go. Can't afford to rent and pay mortgage.
I think I am enabling him. But I'm at a loss what to do now. I think I have actually lost sight of what a normal relationship should be like.
Any advice/kick up the arse welcome.
