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My DH and his best girlfriend

(7 Posts)
user1468987371 Mon 25-Jul-16 05:19:20

My DH was video chatting with his best female friend one day and they are talking with so sweet voice and she was putting her beautiful polished nails on her lips a lot ( I saw from background), it is lasted for already about an hour, I was actually preparing my baby's powder milk who was just awake and in his cot, soon DS start to cry like hell, I was so frustrated and push myself hard to get the milk down and get to DS( I was boiling water),but DH is just in the sitting room which is outside baby's bedroom door, and he did NTHING to comfort baby and there is laughing from them coming together with DS's crying( DH totally can't let DS's cry into his ear)! I am just really angry. I had no problem with them at all before, we married for more than 2 years , I almost be friend of that girl as well. Am I become a crazy Mum.BTW, DH's ex girlfriend had problem with her cox they are too close.

McBassyPants Mon 25-Jul-16 06:13:26

I think there are two clear issues here that i think you are lumping together. There is firstly and most importantly (imo) the fact that he ignored your DS crying. For this yanbu, he should have helped and I think that you should bring it up with him. He could have called his friend back.

As for the closeness and friendship, that's more difficult. I am a male and all of my best friends are female (I'm in a very female dominated profession) and I am very close to at least a couple. My DW has no issue with this as I am completely open and honest about everything, I tell her anything. The fact that he was skyping with you in the room suggests he has nothing to hide so I think you are slightly overreacting in this instance

I think maybe you are pissed off at him not helping and attributing sone of this frustration onto his relationship with this friend?

SandyY2K Mon 25-Jul-16 10:13:41

If I was you, I would have picked the baby up and taken him to you husband. Telling him you're making DSs milk, so could he just comfort him in the meanwhile.

I'd like to see his reaction if you were chatting to a friend (male or female) and he was getting DSs milk while DS was crying.

I bet he'd be damn well angry.
OP - I think there are 2 seperate issues as the PP said, because I'm sure you'd have been annoyed even if it was a male friend he was talking too.

The fact it was a woman, probably made you more angry though.

If like McBassy my husband had a lot of female friends, I wouldn't be so comfortable with it, but I'm a firm believer in 'if you can do it, so can I', so I'd get a good number of male friends and hopefully he'd have no problem with it.

If he did, then I'd point out the clear double standard and I wouldn't drop the friends unless he did the same.

user1468987371 Mon 25-Jul-16 11:59:26

That is very good of you two to clear point out the problem, you are both correct and helpful! The people in the issue are easier get lost! Thanks and now I know how to deal with it. I was overreacted! And that is basically I wa s too mad and missed the point.

BeenAroundTheWorld Mon 25-Jul-16 20:21:00

Personally I don't think it would sit right with me if my DH was that close with another female.. But that's just me.
You need to decide whether you can handle it or not is the big issue here.

SandyY2K Mon 25-Jul-16 20:33:26

I also wouldn't like the closeness and if I knew about it pre marriage, I'd have bailed.

McBassyPants Mon 25-Jul-16 20:42:19

My friends were around before my though. I'm a nurse so I'm always going to be surrounded by women.

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