Guy I'm dating in car crash - what to do.

[Teaandcakeat8]

As the title says...

I've been dating a guy for 4 months, only saw him yesterday. I haven't heard from him today but he's just text to say he's in hospital as he's been in a car crash. He at least has some broken bones and needs surgery.

I'm feeling awful for him; he's a pilot in training and this is not good news for his job. But I'm really not a sympathetic person and I don't want to annoy him.

Best way to play this? I have text him to ask him to keep me updated and made some terrible jokes. Should I wait to hear from him or text again?

[Teaandcakeat8]

That sounds wrong. As in I am sympathetic but I am awful at expressing it.

Is it ok to also tell him that the sympathy it may be out of character but really I just want to give him a hug?

[nothingtoadd]

Can you go and see him?

[Teaandcakeat8]

I don't know which hospital - I have asked but he didn't reply yet. He was away for the weekend so I'm guessing it won't be a local one.

[eurochick]

I'm not good at sympathy either. I'm better at the practical stuff. I would be seeing if I could help with car repairs/pet feeding/whatever else needs doing.

[TheNewSchmoo]

You've been seeing him 4 months? You sound as cold as ice. Go see him, give him a hug.

[Teaandcakeat8]

I can't find the hospital if I've asked him which one and he hasn't replied!!

He will probably be a couple of hours away and to make it worse I start a new job tomorrow morning.

[Redken24]

see him after work?

[Teaandcakeat8]

If he does reply I could go to see him although it's a three hour drive probably. Haven't heard from him since 6... I hope that's not bad news.

[ImperialBlether]

What's with the texting? If my boyfriend rang to say he'd been in an accident I'd phone him.

[Teaandcakeat8]

He messaged me in the first place...

[ivykaty44]

He maybe in theatre - thus no more contact.

[fransmom]

Phone him!!

[fransmom]

Oops. Never thought of that. Maybe phone and leave a message?

[ExasperatedAlmostAlways]

I think id call him and if he doesn't answer leave a voice mail. I reckon if I were him I'd be grateful for the message and to hear your voice.

I'd just say "Hi X, just calling to see how you are and if there's anything I can do. Been thinking of you and worrying how you are since your text. Let me know what hospital you are in and I could maybe come visit after work if you are up for it. Speak to you soon.

[TweedAddict]

Call him, leave a message so if he has gone under he will see something off you when he wakes up.

I had a first date with my DH and I ended up in hospital very late a few days after. He was chopping on the bit to come and see me. He then saw me every day and even fed my cat. All after one date, I had known him for years though. I knew then he was a keeper

[WeekendAway]

Good God I know four months isn't exactly a long term relationship but it's long enough that most people would be worried sick and want to dash to the hospital to be with their boyfriend/girlfriend upon hearing news like this. You talk as if you met him last week.

Do you actually have any strong feelings for him?

[Jaynebxl]

Can you contact the people he was with this weekend?

[HermioneJeanGranger]

You don't sound particularly worried or upset

[Teaandcakeat8]

Ok he's just messaged me and he doesn't want me to call. He says maybe call him tomorrow. He's also broken his elbow and he won't be coming back for a while. He sounds pretty cold towards me but maybe he is just upset.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

He's probably in pain, confused and in shock all at once!

[IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain]

He's probably just feeling like shit - and on lots of meds, could you see him tomorrow after work?

[Teaandcakeat8]

Well he definitely doesn't sound like he wants me to see him. I will try and speak to him tomorrow. If he's broken his elbow he won't be able to type very fast presumably...