Today I've realised that actually my life is not how I want it to be or how I imagined it to be.
I feel really down in the dumps about it today but I really want to remain positive and try to build and new life and new relationships/friendships. If I don't go at this with gusto I fear I will get myself into some deep depression.
To give you a bit of background. Met by husband (now separated) at 22, married at 30, had a kid at 33. I'm now 36.
I left my husband a few months ago. I moved out of the family home, (I didn't want to be the one to end our marriage and kick him when he was down by making him go and live elsewhere) I now rent a flat. I love the flat, I made sure that I chose one that I enjoyed being in because I started to get anxious about being in our family home on my own towards the end and would do everything to not be there on my tod.
The issues surrounding my marriage and why I ended it aren't horrendous. He's a lovely man, a brilliant father. It wasn't awful but I didn't feel that we had connected emotionally or sexually for a long time. He's not one for talking really and he's very passive and I just didn't feel that we were right for each other anymore. I am a very driven person, I am self employed, I like to be organised and my husband is opposite to that so it got to the point where really, I needed to leave. We remain on good terms, we sometimes hang out together with our son and there is genuinely no animosity towards each other. We both care about each other deeply but unfortunately don't work as a couple. He would still like us to get back together so I feel incredibly guilty about the decision I have made.
Since leaving I feel that some of my friends haven't really been there for me, and I feel like I am becoming more isolated. One friend in particular is supposed to be one of my best friends, we talk a lot on the phone which I am really grateful about (we live in the same town), but she always backs out of meetings, its like she feels that because we are such good friends she doesn't think it's an issue to let me down. Other friends that I have don't really bother to get in touch either. I try to organise things and have a few social occasions here and there.
I'm an outgoing person and always try to remain positive, and I would consider myself to be good company. I do genuinely get on with people.
I never thought my life would be like this. To cut to the chase I want to have a happy marriage with someone who 'gets me' (who doesn't I guess!) and I would love to have friends whereby we socialise regularly, impromptu nights out or in with the kids, dinners, BBQ's, picnics, camping trips, holidays.
I don't feel like I can call people last minute really, I always feel they are busy getting on with their own lives.
I know that all sound idealistic but does anyone have those sorts of friendships?
A work colleague of mine seems to have this with his friends, a bunch of 30 somethings with theirs kids, they hang out in smaller or bigger groups and go on trips away together.
I guess what I'm asking is as per my title, has anyone been able to create a whole new social circle and meet like minded people and go on to have a fulfilling social life? I am living in some sort of dream world where this sort of life doesn't exist? Do you have any tips on how I can start to meet new people?
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Has anyone made a whole new social life for themselves?
7 replies
LongDaysHotNights · 24/07/2016 20:10
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