Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help

(10 Posts)
tryandbehappy Sat 23-Jul-16 21:37:24

Please help me,I feel so alone like I cant get through this horrible time. My husband of 10years has left me,He walked out on me and our two daughters 4 weeks ago, He told me he didnt love me anymore and I belived him, But I later found out he was seeing another woman who also has a daughter behind my back, Iv no idea who this woman is, But i cant get my head round it, In 4 weeks my Husband has left me,got a new flat,new car, new life. I still love him, How can I stop loving him and start seeing him for who he really is, He has broken me I dont know how to move on. Im left with the children while his off with his new life, he wants to see the children but I dont want his new girlfriend meeting them and i cant see him as il cry and beg, any advice please.ANYONE been through a similar thing? xx

cozietoesie Sat 23-Jul-16 21:57:32

Awful for you.

Have you any friends or family nearby who can give you support?

Spangletine Sat 23-Jul-16 22:29:12

That sounds horrible OP.
What a selfish man he is.
Have you got RL support? Whether you have or not, keep posting here flowers

Cyclewidow46 Sat 23-Jul-16 22:39:49

Hi OP, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's such a horrible, horrible time for you.
Just over a year ago my husband of 21 years did the same. Told me he didn't love me and moved into a flat with the OW, 13 years my junior.
There's not a lot I can say, other than it will get better. Now a year has passed, I'm in a much happier place and rarely think of him.
I've just started divorce proceedings and feel positive about my future.
I just want you to be reassured that things won't always feel so bad. xx

ChristinaParsons Sun 24-Jul-16 14:59:45

It will get better. Do you have supportive family and friends?

Cassawooff Sun 24-Jul-16 21:38:04

Hi, I have been through a similar thing - and it hurts like hell. Get help in real life, talk to people, take all the help you can get. Go easy on yourself. It doesn't matter how messy the house is, or if you are not cooking, just get through the days. Look after your kids. They are worth it, he is not.

It is awful, I am sorry and nothing but time can help. One bit of good advice I had was focus on what you can control and not on what you can't. You can control how you act. My mantra was I wasn't going to be bitter, self-pitying or petty. I needed to be true to myself and look back that I behaved the best I could. Can't say I always achieved this but I did the best I could at the time. Honestly I do know how it feels and you have all my best wishes.

Jayfee Sun 24-Jul-16 22:42:02

This is worse than a bereavement. So imagine if he had died..you would phone family and friends and everybody would want to help you. What a terrible shock. It will take tme but it will get easier. So make a start and phone someone to talk to.

pallasathena Mon 25-Jul-16 12:00:53

It is hard, very hard and you just feel like your world is ending for a while. But it isn't, not really because there's another world, out there, waiting for you to notice it is there. And it can be, if you let it, a better world than the one that's just imploded around you.
You will come out of this stronger, calmer, smarter than you've ever been in your life. You will detach from your ex and begin to wonder what you ever saw in him. You will feel embarrassed at the amount of headspace he occupied as you carve out a better, more fulfilling life for yourself, on your terms, not on anyone else's.
You will become more discerning, more relaxed, happier with yourself and you will, in time, if you want to, meet someone else who will be worthy of you. Your ex isn't. You, however, are awesome. Never forget that.

tryandbehappy Mon 25-Jul-16 20:45:23

wow, thank you so so much all of you that replied to me, it helps to know im not alone and not the only one that this has happened to. All i think about is him with this other woman I wander what she looks like and how they talk about me, his probably told her so many lies, he has lied to me so much, and even till this day he doesnt seem the slightest bit bothered about what he has put me through, He cant even understand why I cant be his friend, but i hate him for what his done to me.

ChristinaParsons Tue 26-Jul-16 22:39:07

He is not worth thinking about
Think about yourself

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now