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What should I do with in laws who treat me differently from other daughter in law

(16 Posts)
2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 08:23:16

I always have a positive outlook on life but my in laws are making me feel fed up.

My in laws blatently treat me differently from the other daughter in law and I can't stand my mother in laws snidey disrespectful comments everytime I see her.

Since I have been married I have helped them loads and been nice to them!

They do everything for the other daughter in law and she causes so much trouble for them! To the point where she has stopped relatives talking to mother in law. After she causes trouble the daughter in law gets rewarded with 24 carat earrings for her 24th birthday.... Whereas they give me a measly £20 for my birthday!

When mother in law comes over she can't help but make a snidey comment to ruin the mood. Even yesterday on my birthday she makes a snidey comment that my husband has to get permission from me to go out and laughing then repeatedly said it until I corrected her and said you are wrong there as he does not need to get permission.

Even when they come back from holiday they will buy the other daughter in law an expensive outfit and me just crappy little things like kitchen sieves which I have!
Just fed up of the bullshit.... I am ready to tell them how I feel when conversation arises next.

Just need some advice as to how to go about it .... Maybe I just need u guys to tell me to shut up because I am
Being pathetic but maybe that's what I need to stop
Me getting down about being treated so differently and less favourably

hellsbellsmelons Thu 21-Jul-16 11:17:06

So stop doing things for them.
Why would you?
What do they do for you?
Stop trying to get them to like you.
It will never work.
Keep contact to a minimum.
When she makes a snidey comment just laugh at her. Literally 'at' her and walk away.
Stop spending time with people who don't like you.

lookatmenow Thu 21-Jul-16 11:58:47

exactly what HELLSBELLS said - can never understand why people keep trying to make people like them - you don't need to. And when you take back the control, you'll realise that you couldn't care less what they say or do as it wont affect you

Ineedmorelemonpledge Thu 21-Jul-16 12:01:50

Has your DH noticed this behaviour? What does he say?

ginghamstarfish Thu 21-Jul-16 12:04:13

Agree with pps, why do you care so much? Some people are just idiots. Treat them with cool disdain and let them get on with it. Ignore the snidey comments. If someone was a visitor in my house and did this they would not come here again, no matter who they were.

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:10:27

My DS is supportive and listens to what I say ... And I told him I would give them a piece of my mind and he said that was fine and that I should
Yeah ur right will keep them at arms length and keep away from them

They are just sweetening her up because she lives with them with her three boys and we have moved out ...

But I will make snidey comments about them in front of other family members and correct her snidey pathetic comments hahaha

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:12:00

She thinks she's being clever with her comments but she doesn't realise I can easily shut her comments up with clever answers back and she will hate me doing it in front of others because she wants to make out as if her family is perfect lol

SandyY2K Thu 21-Jul-16 12:13:59

Ignore and don't engage her.

Try not to be alone with her and only be in her company if it's unavoidable. When you are just be polite and smile.

Does your DH not notice this? Because if my parents treated my BIL more favourably than my DH I'd pull them up on it.

Is it anything to do with their feelings for your DH and his brother? Like if she favours your BIL, she prefers his wife by association.

My MIL used to be more complimentary and nicer to me than the other DIL and I found it very uncomfortable.

SandyY2K Thu 21-Jul-16 12:21:31

They are just sweetening her up because she lives with them with her three boys and we have moved out.

Is it your culture for the extended family to all live together?

Are the three boys your other BILS or your DHs sons?

I wouldn't respond to her snide comments or it will just make you look bad. Avoid being around her. Don't visit her and she won't get the chance to be snide with you.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine Thu 21-Jul-16 12:22:00

The way you talk about her makes me think she noes you dislike her so doesn't bother making an effort. I'd not buy expensive jewellery for a DIL who quite obvioulsy didn't like me.

You come across as grabby and ungrateful, you slate every gift she buys you as you expect more.

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:24:24

She thinks both her sons are best thing since sliced bread ... She treats them both the same my husband does give her his opinion whereas other son keeps quiet like a mouse Hahahah

I think it's more to do with her image and the fact that she wants her son and family to stay living with them and to sweeten her up she puts up with her crap and buys her gold for her birthday

Just gonna leave them to it cos mother in laws parents are coming mid August and staying with them so she will be stressed looking after them full time and doing housework and picking up after her son, daughter in law and three grandsons

The cookie will crumble soon enough

Mother in law own daughter's son does not talk to her-and he does not allow his two kids to be in her company all because the daughter in law told them what mother in law was saying...

Just leave them to their own devices as she will split family up

I'm just patiently waiting

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:26:24

Sorry mother in law's own daughters husband doesn't talk to her or does not want anything to do with her

SandyY2K Thu 21-Jul-16 12:29:42

OP

Do you have children? Only because some MILS in some cultures can favour the DIL with kids, especially if they have sons. I've seen it happen.

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:32:19

I have one son who is 10 months

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:33:24

She probably doesn't like the fact that I'm independent and can look after my own child where's with other daughter in law she takes an active role like her grandsons are are sons lol

2015mom Thu 21-Jul-16 12:38:10

Also she prob doesn't like the fact I suggested to my husband we moved 20 minutes away from their house lol think she will never like the fact we didn't stay in same area lol

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