We have two kids 5 and 2 years old. There are many issues. Neither of us are perfect.
DH seems to have lost interest in me for a long time. There's no affection. We used to hold hands and be generally are affectionate towards each other outdoors and at home.
We only have sex if I initiate it. No matter how many times we have discussed this he never ever initiates sex. Always me - but apparently that's how he likes it - despite what I like.
He still makes a small effort for birthdays, anniversaries and christmas. Not that we can't afford it - nothing ever like having a romantic meal somewhere special, or a weekend somewhere nice (unless I plan it of course).
I feel so unsatisfied in the relationship. If we have time off work, unless I plan anything, he's just happy staying at home doing nothing. He refuses counselling because he doesn't want to speak to a stranger.
He makes excuses about why we can't be together, usually because he was doing ABC with our DD, or our DD needs this or that. Sometimes I just feel like the joy has been sucked out of me. If I do something special like make a nice meal for us and some relatives - he will find something negative to say.
He's always nit picking and finding faults or making fun out of me and not in a nice way.
Today for example I have had an awful one at work and immediately called him when I finished. Instead of comforting me because I am sad and in tears, he more or less told me to get over it, it's your fault. I already know it was my fault, I am just hoping my husband would just give me a cuddle and tell me it will be fine.
He won't apologise for anything. If he's rude or horrible, then I get upset by his behaviour, he will get angry because, how dare I get mad at him. Then it's just a cycle. It's one of the most frustrating things.
Today I just feel like I need to take my kids and move on. I grew up without a dad and I don't want that for my kids, but I feel like I have had enough.
I am always the one to try and make up and patch thing up. He never approaches me for anything if we've had a fight. Am I wrong? This time I just feel like leaving it as is and moving on. We have another home where I can stay with the kids. It will be tough but I think I will feel free - maybe sad for a little while but definitely free in a way because I feel like I would rather be alone that married without the support/ love.
We talk a lot about our relationship, he always says he loves me and doesn't want us to be apart. But I feel like he is just comfortable with the way things are, and has said before that he thinks I would never leave. He doesn't try.
In my mind I want things to work but I also feel like maybe it's time to just cut ties and move on. Any advice? Should I move out with the children and leave the ball in his court?
Should we both try harder? i.e. counselling weekly? any other ideas?
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Relationships
Do I end our marriage or keep trying - or try harder?
16 replies
Olbersparadox · 21/07/2016 00:45
OP posts:
AprilSkies44 ·
21/07/2016 00:58
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