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So self conscious with clothes off

(7 Posts)
Silvermockingbird Mon 18-Jul-16 01:36:37

ive always been so self conscious about my boobs, I would of considered them nice boobs when I look back when I was younger but I have self harm scars on them off back when I was a teenager (don't want to get too into it) plus since my first child they lost all perk! My DP and I have been together 2 years and are expecting first baby together, I've always made it clear how self councious of them I am so I have nearly always left my bra on around him unless it's dim light.. I know he loves me but in his past he has been with so many women (which I don't like but that was before my time) and I just can't help compare myself to them, now I'm pregnant I just keep feeling worse and worse like he's going to want to be with someone else with nice boobs/ or he will keep getting pissed off that I never get mine out and will eventually cheat because of this! I know these are extreme thoughts I just can't help thinking them.. Does anyone else not let their partner see any part of their body and how do they react?

Somerville Mon 18-Jul-16 09:52:12

It doesn't really matter how anyone else's partner reacts, only yours.

For what it's worth, my boyfriends reaction to my horrendous emergency c-section scar (so bad that I was offered corrective surgery on the NHS) was not noticing it until I pointed it out. smile

Does he know about the self-harm or are you worried about it bringing it to his attention? It's really nothing to be embarrassed about.

I think you should talk to your midwife about your feelings. Heavy pregnancy, birth, and dealing with milk-filled breasts (even if you choose not to breast feed) means that it might be harder than usual to keep them covered. So either some support and help so you don't feel you need to any more, or for them to make note of this so they can help you stay covered at vulnerable times. Either way, your midwife will want to help.

Somerville Mon 18-Jul-16 09:53:12

Does the least-attractive part of your DP's body make you compare him with previous boyfriends or fall out of love with him? If not, why not?

Getit Mon 18-Jul-16 13:34:08

I'm very very self conscious of my stomach. I am slim but having the dc has stretched my skin. It doesn't matter how many core exercises I do it will never go because its stretched. I hate it I really do and I try and hide it from my bf. I am conscious of it during sex and can never fully relax because of it.
You are not alone.
Oh and I have small boobs .
At least you have some.

LittleDandelion Mon 18-Jul-16 17:16:01

I'm the same, especially with the keeping a bra on unless in dim light - even then I'm hesitant lol. Pregnancy has made them much less then they were before, it's something that personally I will never be happy about and I'll never be comfortable with so just coming to terms with it.

happyandsingle Mon 18-Jul-16 17:33:31

I have scars all over my body but I'm past caring. as for small boobs I had breast implants but took them out and actually prefer my small boobs now-it's just learning to be comfortable in your own skin.

something2say Mon 18-Jul-16 17:57:53

I think the thing is, look at it from a different perspective.

Hands up who's ever had a partner with a hairy back, when that is deemed as unattractive? I had a boyfriend who was really big and chunky, adored it. He had been bulliednatsnschool but I adored his manly physique. And I've had a short boyfriend and nothing in this world would induce me to hurt him by slinging that at him.

In short, none of us are perfect. None. And who brings up the faults they actually see? I don't. So what if your body isn't perfect? So what if a man can see it? The real question is, does he love you so much for the person that you are that he wouldn't dream of criticising you physically? That's what love is, not being perfect. Even if you were perfect, you will sag by the age of eighty so not one single one of us gets away with that!

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